Life, 1915-11-18 · page 18 of 52
Life — November 18, 1915 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces from Life magazine's "Bulls and Bears" financial humor section: **"Bulls and Bears"** mocks stock market speculation and investor psychology. It uses absurdist humor—like a rumor about the Russian Czar pawning his winter coat—to ridicule how easily markets respond to trivial news. The term "Lambs" refers to naive investors who are easily fleeced. The piece satirizes brokers encouraging cautious losses over sudden ones (to prevent public disgust) and the Jupiter Development Company scheme, which appears to be a fictional scam promising mining wealth from the planet Jupiter—mocking investors' gullibility toward obviously fraudulent ventures. **"New Nerves While You Wait"** is a humorous advertisement-style piece predicting that Norwegian nerve-transplant technology will revolutionize society. It satirizes both the obsession with medical "progress" and modern life's toll on nerves, mentioning automobiles, frisky women, and "suffragettes" (mocking women's rights activists) as sources of nervous exhaustion. The joke is that people will replace worn-out nerves like worn plumbing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Bulls and Bears O Monday morning the market was considerably disturbed by the rumor that the Czar of Russia had been discovered trying to borrow seven dollars to get his winter overcoat out of pawn. It was freely admitted on all sides that the Czar could not hope to accomplish much before spring un- less he had his winter overcoat. On reports that he had succeeded in get- ting six-fifty of the amount needed and was in a fair way to secure the other fifty cents, everybody drew a long breath and conducted himself with more abandon for the rest of the afternoon. Owing to the continuation on Tues- day morning of the excited condition of the market which has prevailed for several weeks, a number of the brok- ers were inclined to urge caution on the part of the Lambs. The firm of Getthemun, Sligh & Co. issued a long statement from which we select the following significant quotation: “Wall Street Lambs are advised to go slowly in the present crisis. Wall Street gets STS ee, Yl POKER TERM FIVE AGAINST THE RED THE FRIENDLY ENGINEER its best results if the Lambs lose their money in a leisurely fashion. If they lose it too suddenly they are apt to become disgusted, and this in turn might lead to a general feeling of re- vulsion on the part of the people, such as we have witnessed several times in the past.” In spite of this and other warnings, however, the market was exceedingly active and American Mammon common fluctuated most vio- lently. On Wednesday and Thursday fluc- tuations in the shares of the Jupiter Development Co. were a feature in the dealings. Acting with the eminent astronomer Dr. Farraway Skysquin- ter, the Jupiter Development Co. has located and laid claim to some very valuable mining properties on the planet Jupiter, and if satisfactory means of communication and trans- portation can be established the shares of this company will undoubtedly be immensely valuable. Shrewd investors are naturally doing the proper thing under the circumstances. Friday was featureless on account of so many different reasons that nobody knew which was the real reason, while on Saturday a great many things were begun and few were finished except some overworked employees and a number of Lambs. New Nerves While You Wait NORWEGIAN doctor named In- gebrigsten has succeeded in trans- planting nerves from one animal to another. This undoubtedly opens up a great future for the human race. To have your nervous system quietly and skillfully removed by competent mechanics, and a brand new one put in its place while you wait, ought to create a revolution in all homes. The ordinary nervous system is good for about seven years. At the end of that time it becomes very much like the plumbing in a suburban residence at the end of the same period. It has lost its vivacity. It rattles a good deal. In short, what with being run over by autos, being danced to pieces by frisky women anywhere from seventeen to seventy, being talked to a standstill by suffragettes, the ordinary nervous sys- tem has about the same chance of re- election at the end of seven years as ex-Secretary Bryan. Under the new sys- tem, however, our nervous systems can be continually renewed. We shall be able, doubtless, to buy nerve fibre by the yard and our chauffeur can jack us up once a week and supply the worn-out parts by the skillful manipulation of an electric bulb and a set of nerve irons, comicbooks.com