Life — October 28, 1915 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOOLIS H CONTEMFO ARIES Passing the Mustard His Study—Grunes—Are you going in for golf this summer? Stunss—No, indeed; I have got be- yond that point, This summer I am making a comparative study of Roman, Greek and Egyptian profanity. —Richmond Times Dispatch. Iw a great hurry he took the following telegram to a telegraph office: “Mrs. Brown, Liverpool Street—I announce with grief the death of Uncle James. Come quickly to read will; I believe we are his heirs—John Black.” The clerk, having counted the words, said: “There are two too many, sir.” “All right; cut out ‘with grief,’ was the answer. —Argonaut. A toaspoontal of Abbott's Bittora with your Grape Pro! an Ideal appetizing tonle. Sainple of bitters by mail, stampa, 0, W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Marcet—Do you know, Claude, chorus girls have a hard time? Craupe—Yes, they do have to bare a great deal, —Cincinnati Enquirer, EGYPTIAN ~ DEITIES “The Utmost in Agareltes Plaun End or Cork Tip “The Beau Brummel"* Men Who @Qare @r Appearance Should Wear THE FIGURE MOLD To preserve a good form or remedy a faulty one. By wearing this at Se oo. a mart, well set-up THE BEAU BRUMMEL FOR MEN THE BEAUTY MOLD FOR WOMEN Will line up and perfect an already good form. THE MAGIC FIGURE, MOLD AND W: OMEN seegtishtie dt tot wr ra od on the tanet as well sy outer cof of ducomfont of ay kind: AN ABSOLUTELY NEW METHOD Reduction is not obtained by Sweating Thee geome heat, are acientieally correct wei, septic id fremont ‘ire Tony benef injurious ‘qualltis, and remain Ease 88 ENDORSED BY Pavsicial® AND SURGEONS ‘We make them to individual Rey tha tiie menue in vuring lent for men ‘Write for illustrated booklet with full description. POSITIVELY THE ONLY FIGURE MOLD IN EXISTENCE Foreign and domestic patents granted and pending. FIGURE E MOLD GARMENT COMPANY SDE. Columbus, Ohio 870 5O cents the case of 6 glass stoppered Tue soldier was telling the workman about a battle that he had once been in that had lasted from 6 o'clock in the morning until 7 o'clock at night. His description was most graphic, and he be- came very enthusiastic. “ There's one thing I can’t understand about the story,” said the workman, slowly, when he had finished. “ You say that the battle be- gan at 6 o'clock in the morning and lasted until 7 o'clock at night?” “Yes, that's so,” was the reply. “Well,” retorted the workman, “the unions wouldn't stand for such hours nowadays.” —Argonaut, BACARDI Makes The Perfect Cocktail, Rickey or Highball, Try Itt Peopier—I have a most valuable book to scll, madam. It tells one how to do everything. Lavy (sarcastically)—Does it tell one how to get rid of a pestering peddler? Pepper (promptly)—Oh, ycs, madam! Buy something from him. —Birmingham Age-Herald. In a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE “Was the public dinner you went to a success ?” “It was the best dinner I ever attended. Every speaker who was down for a speech on the program had tonsilitis. —Tit-Bits. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER Greex—What is a sense of humor? Brown—A sense of humor is that which makes you laugh at something that happens to somebody else which would make you angry if it happened to you!” —Tit-Bits, unl inaea ta oa) lees bottles Setting Him Right During the concert a man who really appreciated music for its own sake was greatly annoyed by a young fop in front of him who kept talking to the girl at his side. “What a nuisance!" finally ex- claimed the appreciative man. “Do you refer to me, sir?” threateningly demanded the fop. “Oh, no. I meant the musicians. They keep up such a noise with their in- struments that I can't hear half your bril- liant conversation.” —Argonaut. PARK HOTEL MOUNT CLEMENS, MICH. A luxurious all-year health and pleas- ure resort, featuring the famous Mount Clemens Mineral Baths ‘These wonderful curative baths are unsur- passed by any in the world for their remark- able results in the relief and cure of RHEUMATISM and kindred diseases, Analysis shows 125 pounds of healing mineral salts in each 65-gallon bath, ‘The Park Hotel offers every excellence of sur- roundings, service and cuisine. Hotel aad bathe ‘eader one root ; open ail year; American plan. GOLF PRIVILEGES, Tennis, Boating, Fis! Write for Mustrated Booklet. L. Sourwine, Park Hotel, Moust Clemens, Mich. comicbooks.com