Life — October 14, 1915 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He Got Them Mixed A Missouri farmer had ordered a fancy pig from a breeder. The pig was a mere mite of a pig, and the farmer sent it back. “Dear sir,” he wrote, “From the comparative size of the pig and the bill, I am forced to the conclusion that you got them mixed. You should have sent the pig by mail and the bill by express.” —Youth's Companion. Objected to Paying Twice “Look here, waiter. Eighty cents is an outrageous price for a portion of as- paragus, “Yes, sir, but you see, sir, we're put- ting on a very expensive cabaret show, and——" “T know all about the cabaret show. I paid for that with the soup.” —Kansas City Times. Not One “Tt appears to be your record, Mary Moselle,” said the magistrate, “that you have been thirty-five times convicted of stealing.” “T guess, your honor,” replied Ma “that is right. No woman is perfect. —Ladies’ Home Journal. “HOW AGGRAVATING! A WHOLE MONTH'S DIETING AND ONLY LOST NINETY-FIVE Pounps.” Wamed in Twenty Years Several Scotchmen were discussing the domestic unhappiness of a mutual friend “ Aye,” said one, “ Jock McDonald has a sair time wi’ that wife o’ his. They do say they're aye quarrelin’, “Tt serves him richt,” said another feelingly. “The puir feckless creature marrit after coortin’ only eight year. Man, indeed, he had nae chance to ken the wumman in sic a short time. When I was coortin’ I was coortin’ twenty year.” “And how did it turn out?” inquired a stranger in the party. “T tell ye, I was coortin’ twenty year. an’ in that time I kenned what wumman was, an’ so I didna marry.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. Quite recently a warship of the Atlan tic Fleet found it necessary to call for a few hours at a military port on the coast of Ireland. Tommy Atkins, mee ing a full-bearded Irish tar in the strect a couple of hours later, said: “ Pat, when are you going to place your whiskers on the reserve list?” “When you place your tongue on the civil list,” was the Irish sailor's reply. Tit-Bits. 4 “Be careful about asking favors of people, my boy.” ‘ “Why? “ Because once a man does a favor for | you you are in his debt for life.” —Detroit Free Press. Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, $5.00 a year in advance. Add foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.03 a year; to Canada, s2 cent Fent copies: Back numbers, alter three months {rom Canada and British Possessions. 25 cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of print The tert and illustrations Britain apply to Live, 114 Southampton Row, Lire are consrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great stage to Single cur- date of publication, licited contributions. Holstein Cows’ Milk The Final Choice In all public institutions and organizations where at- tempts are made to produce milk on a scientific and economical basis, it is an absolute fact that a registered purebred Holstein-Friesian herd is installed after thorough investigation into the comparative virtues of the leading dairy breeds, The uniform large milk yield by Holstein cows, their good health, docile dispositions, and low percentage of feeding cost recommend them. The food value of Holstein milk, its health preserving. body build: ing. vitality giving quality, together with its freedom fr excess of indigestible fat content and its perfect adap bility to the needs of weak infant or invalid are convincing factors. To parents of children shese facts should be of special significance. Ask your milkman for Holstein cows’ milk. If be fails to supply you send us his name and we will try to secure a supply for you. Send for our new free illustrated booklet, “The Story of Holstein Milk.” HOLSTEIN-FRIESIAN ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA F. L. HOUCHTON, Secretary 19-B American Building BRATTLEBORO, VT. CORK TIP OR PLAIN END —_ st Soasgyics ees Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book sellers in all the principal cities in the world. 's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. contribution will be retw elope. Lire does not hold The, foreign trade supplied ro d unless accompanied by stamped and addressed self responsible for the loss or nomreturn of unix Pronipt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address BEING IN == CAIRO= comicbooks.com i i |