Life — October 7, 1915 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Unnecessary Preparation “Tommy,” cautioned his mother, “be sure to come in at four this afternoon to get your bath before you go to the Jones's to supper.” “But, mother,” protested the lad, “I How Was She to Know? ws 4 don’t need a bath for that. They said ‘<< Ww: ‘ it was to be most informal.” Mes. Wittiass, who had recently re- —Harpere: Mapasine turned from abroad, was attending an afternoon tea which was given in her honor. “And did you actually go to Rome?” 7 A Man was walking along the street, asked the hostess. and he saw a house on fire. He rushed “I really don’t know, my dear,” replied 3 across the way and rang the bell. After Mrs. Williams, “You see, my husband some time a lady, who proved to be always bought the tickets.” : slightly deaf, appeared at the door. —Ladies Home Journal. A S “Madam, your house is on fire.” “What did you say?” ‘The man began dancing up and down. He pointed above. “I said your house is afire! Flames bursting out! No time to lose!" “What did you say?” “So,” said the old general, “ you think you would make a good valet for an old wreck like me, do you? I have a glass eye, a wooden leg, and a wax arm that need looking after, not to mention false teeth, and so forth. “House afire! Quick!” “Ob, that’s all right, general,” replied The lady smiled. “Is that all?” she the applicant, enthusiastically ; “I've had said sweetly. lots of experience. I worked six years Mr. Potato: 11'S A DREADFUL NUISANCE “Well,” replied the man hopelessly, in the assembling department of a big WHEN ONE HAS TO COME TO WEARING “that’s all I can think of just now.” motog-car factory.”"—Tit-Bits, cLasses. Argonaut. Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book- Canada’ and British Possessions. '$s.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.0 a year; to Canada, 52 cents. Single cur- Li London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. rent ‘copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, a(ter three months from date of publication, ‘0 contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. envelope. Lire does not hold itseif responsible for the loss or non-return of unso- The text and illustrations in Live are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great licited contributions. Britain apply to Live, 114 Southampton Row, London, W. C. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. = OMETHING better. Americansare always look= ing for something better. In Perrier they have found it. To quench hot From the first glass, the out- weather thirst drink standing superiority of Perrier The Champagne is apparent to the sophisticated °f Table Waters. palate. Carbonated with its own gas, crystal-pure and sparkling, it has, by sovereign right of superiority, taken its place upon the best tables everywhere. Perrier is bottled at the Springs in the South of France amidst the glorious French vineyards. There is no saltiness in Perrier, the great reason why The enthusiasm for France inspired it combines so perfectly with Wines and Spirits by Lafayette is re-inspired by Perrier. NB.—A glass of Perrier alone or with a slice of lemon in the carly morning is invaluable in gout Bubbling with its and uric acid troubles—the bugbear of middle-age. own Carbonic Gas. Obtainable at all high-class Hotels, Restaurants and Grocers. WILLIAMS & HUMBERT, Agents, 1158 Broadway, New York. Fo33 Se | 2) comicbooks.com