Life, 1915-10-07 · page 18 of 52
Life — October 7, 1915 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"No Time for Trivial Things"** is a comedic short story satirizing early 1900s courtship and female propriety. A young woman prioritizes retrieving borrowed clothing (shirtwaists, petticoat, stockings) from her mother's room over a romantic moment with her lover. The joke mocks how strict maternal supervision and rigid social conventions around propriety constrain romantic life—the woman's fear of her mother discovering the theft outweighs her declared love. **"The Busy Burner"** satirizes D.G. Reid, an actual railroad financier involved in the "Fiscalfest" (apparent satire of financial mismanagement). Reid habitually burned his books monthly, conveniently preventing testimony during Interstate Commerce Commission investigations. The cartoon mocks his destruction of financial records as evidence-tampering while sardonically suggesting readers should be "thankful" he didn't burn the railroad itself—dark humor about corporate corruption and inadequate regulatory oversight.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
650 No Time for Trivial Things 3 “MY darling, 1 tove yout” y, no nna As the fond lover spoke, hold- { ing the beautiful girl in his arms in ho ana the soft light, she raised her head, and her cheek blanched as the front door gently opened and a faint footstep was heard ascending the front stairs. “T think——” she murmured, but he only clasped her tighter. “Tt was only your mother,” he whispered. “I caught a glimpse of her shadow. My darling, I—” “My mother! As I feared!” She spranz up. It was only with superhuman strength that he held her. “She has gone!" he protested, fold- ing her still more closely in his strong arms, “ She wouldn’t interrupt us. No mother does that now. My darling, be calm, and during this golden mo- ment that we are alone let me tell you of this great, overmastering love that, like a vast flood—” But with a supreme effort she had broken loose and, quivering with emo- tion, stood before him as she prepared to leave the room. “ Listen,” she whispered ; “hear those sounds overhead. They are in my room and bode no good. I must fly. There is no time to lose.” “You don’t love me!” he threatened. She smiled grimly as she pushed him aside. “I love you deeply,” she replied, “but this morning, when my dear mother was out, I borrowed from her two shirtwaists, one petticoat, her coral ings and three pairs of her best silk stockings, and unless I hurry she will find out where I have hidden them.” The Busy Burner 6 Rae report of the Interstate Commerce Commission on the great Fiscalfest of the Rock Island Pirates’ and Pillagers’ Association was extremely illuminating, but it would have been fuller and more satisfactory if more information could have been extracted from D. G. Reid, one of the chief financiers involved. Mr. Reid was unable to be of much help on the witness stand, owing to a thoughtful little habit of his of burning his books every month. But let us not’ find fault. Perhaps we should be THE KEY TO HER HEART thankful that he didn’t burn the railroad. comicbooks.com