Life — September 23, 1915 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The newly rich couple went at once to New York with two friends. They visited one of the noted cafés for lunch. As they seated themselves Mrs. Parvenu whispered to her husband: “Ask for a menu, Jac Parvenu puffed out his chest and chuckled, “One menu only?” he said. “One menu for four? No, no; I'll do the thing well, now I've started it. Here, waiter, four menus—fresh ones, mind, and see that they're not overdone.” —Argonaut. Full Speed Ahead He was the slowest boy on earth, and had been sacked at three places in two weeks, so his parents had apprenticed him to a naturalist. But even he found him slow. It took him two hours to give the canaries their seed, three to stick a pin through a dead butterfly, and four to pick a convolvulus. The only point about him was that he was willing. “And what,” he asked, having spent a whole afternoon changing the gold- fishes’ water, “shall I do now, sir?” The naturalist ran his fingers through his locks. “Well, Robert,” he replied at length, “T think you might now take the tortoise out for a run.”—Christian Register Sue: I suppose the duke has landed estates? wie He: Landed one every time he mar- Not Dangerous J 4 ried, but he managed to run through “You criticize us,” said the Chinese ‘em all—Boston Transcript. visitor, “yet I see all your women have ‘ their feet bandaged.” ‘ ‘Ss Hoxvus: Closefist claims that when “ That is an epidemic,” it was explained charity is needed he is always the first to him gently, “which broke out in ror4. to put his hand in his pocket. Those are called spats.” 4 Poxus: Yes; and he keeps it there —Washington Post. A HUSRANDETTE IN THE MAKING till the danger is over.—Topeka Journal. 1 is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book is > published. every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional ostage to sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 2 cents. Single cur» Live's London Office, Rolls: House,, Rreams Buildings, London, E- rent copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after 25 cents, Issues, prior to 1910 out of print ree months from date of publication, No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed Lire does not hold itself respomsible for the loss or non-return of uns ustrations in Lie are copyrighted. For Fetrint Rights in Great licited contributions. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. The text and i Britain opply to Lire, 114 Southampton Row, London, W. SOME things which delight the epicure are achieved by . felicitous human skill in the 7, quench hot art of pleasing the palate. But weather thirst drink Perrier is a matchless product of Te Champagne the supreme mistress of delectable °F 7 Waters. delights— Nature herself. Its sparkling brilliance and its cap- tivating superior delicacy are exclusively the gift of Nature. Perrier is bottled at the Springs in the South of France amidst the glorious French vineyards, There is no saltiness in Perrier, the great reason why it combines so perfectly with Wines and Spirits. N.B.—A glass of Perrier alone or with a slice of lemon in the early morning is invaluable in gout Bubbling with its and uric acid troubles—the bugbear of middle-age. own Carbonic Gas. The enthusiasm for France inspired by Lafayette is re-inspired by Perrier. ble at all high-class Hotels, Restaurants and Grocers. WILLIAMS & HUMBERT, Agents, 1158 Broadway, New York. comicbooks.com