Life — September 16, 1915 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Six Million More Merry Years ACCORDING to a recent carefully compiled estimate, the world will come to an end—that is, it will cease to support life—about the year 6oo1915 A. D. Hence we have, roughly speaking, six million more years in which to pile up public debts for posterity to struggle with. It is, therefore, too early for us to begin to worry. We can do lots in that time. We can have 6,000,000 Christmases, 1,500,000 presidential campaigns, 1,440,000 leap years, 600,000 decades, 60,000 centuties, 312,000,000 pay days, 000 seasons, 72,000,000 months, 3,000,000 Congresses and at least 2,219,- 423,726 extra editions giving the very latest unreliable news about vital events. In short, there is still ample room for optimism, so on with the zodiac! Let no upper lip relax its stiffness! _ No objectionable hair There is no need of having superfluous or objec: tionable hair. Factors of Service) || és: 2ecitatory fovaer removes it quickly and safely. An occasional ap- plication keeps the skin free. for complete outfit, ready for use— WE 50 cents powder, bone mixing dish, and bone spoon. At drug: and department-stores. Evans’s Soothing Cream, 25 cents A Solatsb smesthy cold cane,” Good fer aa sits ‘ocore oct per ecmag onl nell pepe Een eng or de aeee tad rpecoestnce or By Gale GEORGE B EVANS 1108 Chestast St Philadelobia Pa A Complete System * AY I have a few moments’ pri- Records kept like this are practically | Records, statistics and accounts kept vate conversation?” useless for the management of a busi- | like this are available for a complete The faultlessly dressed gentleman ad- ness, Efficiency is impossible and funds | knowledge of the cost and efficiency of dressed the portly business man, stand- for improvement cannot be obtained. | each department of the business. ing upon the threshold of his office. “This is a business proposition, sir,” he said, rapidly closing the door and sinking into a seat beside the desk. “Tam not a book agent, nor have I any article to sell. I have come to see you about your wife.” fy wife!” “Yes, sir. Glancing over the society column of your local paper, I am in- formed that she is about to take her annual autumn trip to Virginia. You will, of course, have to remain be- hind to take care of your vast busi- Such methods result in a telephone line | The result of such records is a telephone ness interests. Your wife, sir, is a which can give only poor service. line like this, which gives good service. charming and attractive woman, still in the bloom of youth. Have you, sir, considered the possibilities?” The other man started to get up, his face red with rage. “You” he began. “One moment, sir, and I think I can satisfy your mind that my motives are pure as alabaster. This is an age of machinery, of science and invention, and, above all, of effi- ciency. I am simply carrying this idea of efficiency into the domestic life, which, as you are doubtless aware, is The subscriber knows the difference! He demands fayeail ‘Os were aie oT the a well-informed, intelligent business management. furnish you with the highest creden- tials. This is purely professional, I can assure you. Will give bond if you ,AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY wo daire, My proportion is this: 1 AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES will accompany your wife on her trip, always, when traveling, at a respectful One Policy One System Universal Service distance, you understand, and it will comicbooks.com