Life, 1915-09-09 · page 32 of 44
Life — September 9, 1915 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Duke or Deader?"** satirizes Lord Northcliffe, a powerful British newspaper editor and peer. The piece suggests some Englishmen jokingly wish editors would be hanged for their influence. The joke notes that while lynchings occur in Georgia (America), England's more civilized restraint means Northcliffe will likely survive the war—becoming either a duke or simply dying naturally ("deader"). It's a backhanded insult to his power and unpopularity. **"Rough on Justice"** mocks the judicial system's embarrassment when convicted criminals object to their own executions and legal procedures—suggesting the system worries more about procedural propriety than actual justice. **The professor/student joke** contrasts German and American militarism: German boys aspire to be Field Marshals (military rank); American boys want to be Marshall Field (the famous Chicago department store owner/businessman). It stereotypes America as commercially rather than militaristically driven. The other pieces satirize feminism and contain a mock-patriotic letter using German-accented English, likely mocking hyphenated-American loyalty concerns during WWI.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DENTAL SURGERY, AS PRACTICED YO00000 B.C. Duke or Deader ? NE of the uncertainties of the war is whether Lord Northcliffe will come out of it a duke or a deader. Quite a many lishmen feel from time to time that what would do England the most good in the shortest time would be to hang a few editors. If this sentiment turns to action at any time his lordship will doubtless have a chance to be the active figure in a news item; but Eng- land is not Georgia, and impromptu hangings are rare there. The man who made Northcliffe a peer was Balfour, which shows what Balfour thinks of peerages. Rough on Justice HERE is a strong disposition in this country nowadays against the execution of persons convicted of capital crimes except with their approval and consent, But it is hard to get it. The convicted almost always object to execution and find fault both with law and procedure, Hence results constant embarrassment to Justice, who is kept blushing for herself while crimes are forgotten in interminable discussion of the propricties of punishment. DROFESSOR: Illustrate the fact that Germany is a militaristic country, America a commercial one. Stupent: The German boy wants to be a Field Marshal, the American boy wants to be a Marshall Field. Presence of Mind WAS presented to her in the crush, and perhaps by some psychic undertow we were borne away together into a far corner, where the noise of the dancing was not so overpowering. We took cach other in as we sat down. She wore glasses with tortoise-shell handle-bars over her ears, and must have once been handsome—but that was some time ago. I knew I had caught a fine specimen of the spuricus feminicus highbrowicus, and even before she spoke I had made my brilliant decision. “Are you a feminist?" she began, with almost hysterical directness. 4 “I am,” I answered with fatal calmness. “Every proto- plasmic cell cries aloud that there is no sex to brain. Furthermore, the differentiation of the psychic norms, when added to the combined blood pressure, shows that the caloric flight of impulse is greater in its biological aspects than if the acratic biplanes had given the twilight sleep. Feminism in its deeper plumbing represents the co- ordinate unity of the universe. The by-product, man, sporadic and ephemeral, will be sacrificed for the super- woman whose batting average is highly assimilated and undoubtedly among the newer and grander forces which, as we approach each crisis, beautifies itself in eternal majesty. I sensate everything. I get you because I vibrate that I get you——” There was a grand rush for supper that swept us away from each other, but just as I made my escape an hour later I heard her whisper to the hostess, indicating me: “What a magnificent thinker!” “ Mister Editor: “ Diss iss to tell you dot in case of war all loyal Amerikans vould be against der United States. (Signed) Amerikan Srtzex.” cy thit to shel —t hol ove aut is fi comicbooks.com