Life — August 12, 1915 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Queer Time to Boast Two men sat on the river bank, fish- ing. One had a bite, and in the excite- ment he fell into the water. The other man watched him struggle, but did nothing to aid him. “T can't swim!” shouted the man in the water, He went under, and when he came up he shouted again: “I can't swim!” The man on the bank watched him with languid interest. The man in the water sank again. When he came up he gasped: “I can't swim!” “Well, my friend,” commented the man on the bank, a queer time to be boasting of it."—Tit-Bits. Sounded Like It “Gertrude,” asked the teacher, “ what were the causes of the Revolutionary War?” “Tt had something to do with auto- mobiles, but I did not understand just replicd Gertrude. “Oh, nol” said the teacher. “That was before the day of automobiles. “Well, it said it was on account of unjust taxis,” said Gertrude, firmly —Harper’s Magazine. “que wate Who Is to Blame? Not we," the rulers shout; “And how the war has come about We can't make out.” Not we,” statesmen protest. Our wish for peace we oft expressed; We did our best.” “Not we,” the nations cry. Across the sea denials fly Incessantly. And ‘mid the Babel, still The toilers ask in mine and mill, “Who'll pay the bill?” —H, J. Dawtrey, in Chicago Public. Limousine With Heavy Tread He was wandering aimlessly around in a department store when the floorwalker approached him. “Looking for something?” he asked. “Yes, my wife,” replied the man. “ Describe her.” “Well, she’s a sort of a limousine with heavy tread and usually low."—Ohio Motorist. runs on “Dox'r hate a man because he has lots of money,” counsels a Eureka phi losopher, “Cultivate his acquaintance and see if there isn't some honest wa: you can separate him from some of it. —Kansas City Star. Live is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and Heitish Possessions. "$5.00 a year in advance, "Additional postage t0 foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, $2 cents. Single cur- rent copies, 10 cents. Rack numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The tert and illustrations im Lite are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain opply to Lire, 114 Southampton Row, London, 1. C. Lave is for aale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained {rom book sellers jn all the principal cites inthe world. | The foreign trade supplied fron Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, Ne contibution will be. returned waters. accompented ¢9. stamped’ cad addressed envelope. Live does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of wns licited contributions, Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. l Deople cullure,re: re: fi ne ac educalion | smcariably PREFER ities to any other iaage | | eesoneeeaas | Es | | aurter for Offawa-@nada HE delaxe Hotel of the Dominion, Situ- ited in the heart of the Capital of Cana: is oneof the finest hotels on the Continent. Accommodations, three hundred and fifty rooms, Rates, $2.00 and upwards. European plan. Ottawa in summer is a delightful place to s0- journ, Full of interest for the tourist and Sightseer. Handsomely illustrated booklet of Ottawa and the Chateau Laurier sent free on application to Desk C, Chateau Laurier, Ottawa, Canada DS GORDON. Manaser