Life, 1915-08-05 · page 37 of 44
Life — August 5, 1915 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct items: ## "Purely Imaginary" Cartoon A satirical dialogue mocking military unpreparedness. A government Secretary admits to an official that the country has only three submarines, minimal ammunition, a tiny standing army, and no coast-defense guns. The punchline: he'll ask invading allied powers to delay their invasion while he prepares a press statement claiming the country is in an "impregnable position" and evacuates his own family. The satire targets governmental incompetence and official dishonesty—officials making false public claims while privately aware of serious deficiencies. ## "Why He Was Mad" (Punch) A brief joke about two motorists: one hits the other but claims no legal liability exists, so the victim can't sue. The victim's frustration is that the law provides no recourse for reckless behavior. ## Remaining Content The bulk is transportation and travel advertising (Sunset Limited railroad, Boston Garter garter belts) and a brief political commentary on Illinois legislation protecting lawmakers from being bound by written pledges—satirizing legislators' freedom to make and break promises without consequence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
rom book: ied froa addressed of Rie rss. Purely Imaginary TH great Secretary summoned his first assistant. “When will our three new battle- ships be ready?” “In four years, your honor.” “And have we enough ammunition to last for a week?” “ About six days, your honor.” “How many submarines are there?” “Only three came to the surface last night, your honor.” “By the way, is our standing army ten or fifteen men?” “I'll go out and count ’em over again, your honor.” “Did you say we had any coast- defense guns left?” “I think they were all shipped abroad last week, your honor.” “Very well Then drop a postal to the allied powers who are about to invade us and ask them to hold off a couple of weeks longer.” “What excuse shall I give ‘em, your honor?” “Tell ‘em it will take at least that long to prepare my statement for the press explaining what an impregnable position I am leaving the country in— and also to get my own family out of it.” Why He Was Mad First Motorist (after very narrow shave): But why all this fuss? We haven't damaged you. You can't bring an action against us. Secon Motorist: I know I can't, sir; I know I can’t; that’s just my point. —Punch, Weight One RBIND CAN’T CHOKE YOUR Try it for hot weather COM- |) FORT—you'll never again wear any other kind of garter, winter or Ort George Frost Co., Makers, Boston, Mass. ‘Tets Stay Awhile’ AKE your home-coming from the Expositions a restful joumey that wi [mend the strain of the busy days in California. Pleasant side trips and ample stop-over privileges invite you to tarry among the quaint and historical places of the Golden Southwest: The “ Apache Trail” through Arizona’s National Reserve; the gigantic Roosevelt Dam; Tucson, “City of Missions”; EI Paso, the “Border City San Antonio and the “Alamo”; busy Houston; New Orleans, quaintest city in all America, and many other fascinating places. They mean added pleasure in that marvelous ride through the Golden Southwest on the luxurious SUNSET LIMITED (Every Day in the Year—No Extra Fare) San Francisco San Diego Los Angeles New Orleans But in order to enjoy the delights of this “Road of a Thousand Wonders” make sure before you start that your return ticket reads Choice of Water or Rail Lines from New Orleans to New York Write for information and illustrated literature HOUSTON Southern Pacific Bldg. SAN FRANCISCO Flood Building NEW YORK CITY 366 Broadway Legislative Independence T the last session of the Illinois Legislature a bill was passed in the lower house A making it unlawful for a legislator to give a written pledge with respect to future legislation or for an association to demand such a pledge That’s a bill which should find ready favor in all our legislatures. Pledges in black and white are as awkward in legislative matters 3 in breach-of-promise suits. It is unfair to our poor, hard-working Solons to ham-s..ing their promising faculties by putting them on record, They should be free to make as many different and con- flicting pledges as the average hypocritical political campaign demands, and they should have ample opportunity to ignore any or all of the said pledges as soon as the coveted place of honor is attained. comicbooks.com