Life, 1915-08-05 · page 30 of 44
Life — August 5, 1915 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satire mocks the pretentious commencement speaker industry of the era. A bombastic orator visits a college president seeking a $15 engagement fee, pitching his "original" speech about Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, and Napoleon—all historical figures who tried reshaping the world and failed. The joke: his "brilliant" conclusion is to tell graduating students the *opposite*—don't try to change the world, adapt to it instead. The college president rejects him, recognizing the speech's hollow pomposity and contradictory logic. The accompanying cartoon "Why Girls Leave Home" shows a woman threatening her husband with a pitcher, sardonically captioning it as "of two evils I'd rather have it sting you"—criticizing men's incompetence or mistreatment in domestic life. Together, these pieces satirize early-20th-century American pretension: failed male ambition and empty rhetoric (the orator) alongside domestic dysfunction (the marriage).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
250 The Wrong Place “D° you wish a masterpicce ?”” He paused on the threshold of the private office of the president of the great college “Something,” he continued, “that will inspire and edify, amuse and in- struct, and, above all things, something that is strictly original.” id the president. ixeuse me, sir, but I am calling to take my orders long in ad- Let me give you a brief out- line. Are you, sir, trying to make the world over to suit yourself, or are you trying to make yourself over to suit the world?” “Neither, sir. He advanced to the center of the room and raised his hand. “One moment,” he — interrupted. “Remember that I am now addressing an audience of young ladies and gen- tlemen—your next year's graduating class. Picture the scene in your I am introduced by your I advance, I bow. commencement I— mind's eye. distinguished self. WHY GIRLS LEAVE HOME RCOLYERY ifs AAU SS ‘ NERV Wife: pvoN’r prop THAT PITCHER, ALFRED! OF THE TWO EVILS I'D RATHER HAVE IT STING You Now, sir, you have the fout ensem- ble... . ‘My dear young friends, con- sider for one moment the wonderful career of Alexander the Great. What did he try to do? Make the world over to suit himself. And where is he now? Let us span a few centuries. Now behold Julius Cesar. What did he attempt? To make the world over to suit himself. Where, I say, is Julius Cxsar? Now Ict us move rapidly for- ward until we come to Napoleon Bona- te. He tried to make the world over, and where is he? I——'” The president of the great college stopped the orator. “Never mind all “What is the idea?” The great orator smiled. “Ah, sir,” he whispered, “don't you see the application? All, all have failed. Look at Bill Bryan, at Theo- dore Roosevelt—and now turn and that,” he said. think of my message to these young people. ‘My dear young friends, the world was here before you came, it will be here after you go’ (telling sen- tence, that, eh?) ‘and I beg of you, do not make the mistake made by Alexander, Julius Cxsar, Napoleon, Roosevelt and Bryan. But rather make ves over to suit the world.’ ir, is the original idea put in the briefest manner, Fifteen dollars for the evening, including my travel- ing expenses to and from station, I appear in a genuine dress suit and silk hat. Shall I put you down?” “Never, sir!” The orator’s voice was full of dig- nity as he as’ “May I inquire the reason, sir, for this strange decision?” And the great president smiled as he replied: “You may, sir, This college has almost comicbooks.com