Life, 1915-07-29 · page 28 of 40
Life — July 29, 1915 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Cause" (top):** A young man boasts to his girlfriend that he's the only American college boy whose parents approve of the girl he'll marry. The joke mocks parental snobbery about romantic matches—the implicit criticism is that most parents are unreasonably judgmental about their sons' fiancées. **"Hell" (bottom):** This is darker satirical commentary on World War I. It traces a bullet's journey from manufacture (June 1913) through a soldier's hands, ending with a precise timestamp (3:16.5 P.M., January 17, 1915) when Private Smith raises a flask in a trench toast to his sweetheart—the exact moment the bullet reaches him. The story underscores the arbitrary cruelty of war: a manufactured object's predetermined path intersects with a soldier's final moment. The accompanying cartoon about "goat-milker" positions mocks military incompetence in assigning troops.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Cause E gazed at her rapturously. “You are beautiful,” he said. She blushed. “You are as good as you are beau- tiful,” he continued. “But that is not what makes me now so supremely happy, which is, indeed, the crowning joy of my life.” “What is?” she murmured. He drew himself up to his full height. “This,” he replied. “I am the only college boy in the United States now living whose parents think the girl he is going to marry is good enough for NONE SO BLIND AS THOSE THAT WILL ‘NOT SEE “SHURE DOT VAS AN ENGLISH FLAG. I KNOW HIM IN A MINUTE” Hell a fats bullet was completed by the factory at 12:13.5 Pp. M, June 4. 1913. At 12:31.6 it was in a box with forty-nine others of its own kind. At 12:45.9 it was placed in stock. On January 15, 1913, it was shipped to the front. At 9:1.3 a. M. January 16, it was doled out to private Viemann. At 9:51,1 private Viemann placed it in his cartridge-box. In the afternoon of January 17, 1915, it went into action with private” Vie- mann. At 3:15.8 that afternoon private Viemann placed it in the ‘ine of his rifle, And at 3:16.3 its cartridge exploded, and it began its flight at 3:16.4 m s., January 15, 1915. Private Smith drew a picture from one pocket and a flask from another. The picture was that of a girl. The flask contained spiritus frumenti. She was not a beautiful girl, but she had fine eyes. It was not an expensive whisky, but it had the necessary kick. Private Jones looked over private Smith’s shoulder and nodded approval —both of the girl and the flask Private Smith raised the flask aloft and rose in the trench for a silent toast. It was 3:16.5 as he began to raise his hand. Somewhere beyond the POSITIONS WE HAVE NO DESIRE TO FILL trench a bullet had begun the flight GOAT-MILKER ON A TYROLEAN DAIRY FARM for which it had been destined since comicbooks.com