Life, 1915-07-29 · page 26 of 40
Life — July 29, 1915 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story mocks a young man's transparent hypocrisy. He visits an old gentleman to insist he's "just friends" with his daughter—purely platonic, he claims, citing historical examples of male friendships involving kissing (Damon and Pythias, David and Jonathan). The satire exposes his obvious deception: he admits to kissing and embracing the daughter while denying romantic interest. When the father catches him in this contradiction, the young man doubles down with increasingly absurd justifications about "friendly" physical affection. The joke's payoff comes when the father—now understanding the young man's game—offers to be his "friend" too, proposing the young man sit in his lap. This ridicule forces the young man to face how ridiculous his claims sound when applied to men. The separate cartoon below satirizes parents' educational pretensions, showing dogs at a "Bird Store" window labeled "Dogs Trained."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SPORT Just Friendly E came into the old gentleman's office with a bright smile. “I'm the young man who's been calling on your daughter, sir, and I just dropped in to say I am not in love with her.” No answer, “IT want to be perfectly square Ours is friendship, pure and simple— genuine platonic. We respect each other, We enjoy simple and friendly communion, Just a case of comrade- ship, pure and unalloyed” No answer. “You may think—it would be nat- ural for any man of your vast experi- ence of the world to think—that, even if I feel this way about it, your daughter might unconsciously be fall- ing in love with me, only to wake up some day and find her heart broken. Through no fault of my own, you understand, Just one of those un- happy accidents which come. No, sir. Nothing in that. She knows the situa- tion, Purely mental, I assure you.” The old gentleman wheeled around “Weren’t you kissing my daughter Jast night in the back parlor?” The young man smiled again. “Certainly, sir, certainly. Nothing in that, I assure you—the kiss of friendship. Ever hear of Damon and Pythias? They kissed each other frequently. Jonathan and David also. I, sir, am proud to kiss any friend of mine.” “Um! I suppose you'd put both arms around your friend, hold his lily-white hand in yours and lay his head on your shoulder—just for pure friendshi “That's it, sir. Your intuitive mind “OH, MOTHER, THERE'S BILL! has grasped the idea. With me friend- ship is everything.” “And what is your idea of love?” “Love, sir! Never experienced it. I'm not interested in love. Me for friendship, pure and unalloyed.” “I see—just a few friendly, platonic hugs and friendly, kisses and——” “Exactly, sir. You know.” The old gentleman smiled. “I'm glad you called,” he said. “Nothing like a frank talk to clear up these little matters. Young man, I feel friendly toward you already, No rea- son, is there, why you and I shouldn't be friends?” “None, sir. In fact, it's the dearest wish of my heart.” . “Good! Then I tell you what. I'm going to send my dear, friendly daugh- ter away to-morrow for a month's vacation. But don’t let that make any difference, I'll take her place. Come around and sit in my lap all the evening, will you?” ISN'T 1T FINE ONE OF THE FAMILY IS TO HAVE AN EDUCATION?” comicbooks.com