Life, 1915-07-22 · page 39 of 44
Life — July 22, 1915 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary typical of Life magazine's format: **"A Dark Mystery"** critiques the inefficiency of the U.S. Parcel Post system. The article sarcastically questions why mail takes two days to travel fourteen miles from New York City to Upper Montclair, New Jersey—a distance easily covered by automobile in one hour or on foot in four hours. Letters and newspapers arrive the same day; private delivery services are faster. The satire mocks the parcel post's inexplicable slowness, suggesting the system is somehow deliberately sabotaged or incompetent. **"Ulilla's Sex Story"** is a humorous sidebar about a young girl who, following writing advice, reads magazines to learn what the public wants—with implied comedic results. The cartoon shows a child reading "Ulilla's Sex Story" and "My Eugenic Work," satirizing both popular magazine trends and contemporary obsessions with eugenics. The remaining content is primarily **advertising** (Dodge Brothers cars, Hazelwood Manor Sanatorium, tire gauges, bathing pavilion humor) interspersed with satirical notices about life guard unions and other period jokes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Dark Mystery HY, in the name of all that's effi- cient, does it take two days to send a package from New York City per Montclair, N. J., by parcel The distance is fourteen miles, with dozens of trains passing back and forth every day carrying faithful commuters and other precious baggage. Letters between the two points go promptly. Morning New York news- papers going by mail are delivered the same morning in Upper Montclair. All the New York stores having their own vehicles guarantee delivery of —there is a marked freedom from gear shifting | DonceBrorHers MOTOR CAR | The price of the car complete is $785 f. 0. b. Detroit purchases on the following day, and the express companies have recently been doing as well, An average auto- mobile can cover the modest distance in one hour, in spite of ferry obstruc- tions and occasional stretches of bad road. A healthy man can walk it in four hours without extending himself. COMPETENT CHILDREN || R REGAINING HEALTH CAN KEEP UP | THEIR STUDIES Ulilla, a little girl with a passion for writing, is advised by her grown-up author friend to ‘fread the magazines and find out what the public wants.’? The startling result is It is published, through the courtesy of Eucene Woop, in the current number of -AINSLEB’S “The Magazine That Entertains’’ On Sale Everywhere 15 cents the copy RECREATION NATURES MOST BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHFUL T IN ALL NEW ENGLAND cnpe en To | Hazelwood Manor Sanatorium NINTH GRADE ‘or TEACHERS CHARLES EVANS MORRIS, M.D. OPEN ALL THE YEAR. SUMMER AND WINTER SPORTS THREE AND ONF-HALP HOURS PROM NEW YORK OR BOSTON icalars, "Phone 211-14 or Write Forestvitte, Connecticut Why, then, should the parcel post con- sume two days? WI does it keep the package all that time? Does the post-office system, in spite of its sure- ness and swiftness in handling letters, become transfixed with locomotor ataxia when a package for Upper Montclair breaks upon its vision, or is there some subtle influence at work try- ing to make the parcel post ridiculous? Suggestion for Bathing Pavilions at Fashionable Watering Places Notice! OUNG ladies desiring to be rescued from drowning will kindly ap- ply at the desk, Handsome life guards guaranteed from four to six. Posi- tively no rescues after union hours "TIRE INSURANCE FOR ONE DOLLAR If you fed your horse once a week how long would he last? Nox ees need air just as your horse You can't expect them to last unless you keep them inflaied to the pressure recom mended by the ure manufacturer, A v¥ d « ( AIR UGE will tell t tires are pumped to the prescribed pressure. ~ Price $1. At Your Dealer or‘ THE TWITCHELL GAUGE co. 1208 Michigan Ave.. CHICAGO comicbooks.com RIGHT LIVING