Life, 1915-07-22 · page 12 of 44
Life — July 22, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of humor: **"The Winner"** (top): An allegorical cartoon depicting personified vices (Hypocrisy, Greed, Jealousy, Lust, Ignorance) competing in some kind of contest. Hypocrisy emerges victorious and receives a blue ribbon, while Compromise receives an award as runner-up. The satire suggests that hypocrisy "wins" in worldly affairs—a cynical commentary on human nature and society's actual values versus professed ones. **"The Romance of a Department Store"** (bottom): A humorous dialogue between a salesman and customer about mosquito bars (mesh netting), escalating into absurdist physical comedy involving acrobatic feats. The accompanying cartoon shows a crowded streetcar with a conductor enforcing platform rules—likely satirizing urban transportation overcrowding and petty regulations of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LIFE: Hen: WELL, I'M GLAD SOMETHING'S COME ALONG THAT CARRIES OFF MEN The Winner “CHE stion now before us to decide,” said the chairman, “is who has done the most harm in the world?” Hypocrisy rose to his feet with a bland smile. “Permit me,” he said, amid prolonged cheers, “to ad- vance my ancient claims.” The next up was Greed. He was cheered to the echo. It looked as though Hypocrisy would be counted out. Re- venge, Jealousy, Lust and Ignorance then arose amid great clamor, and the polls were about to be closed when a soft- voiced speaker got up. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, but he got no further. “You win!” shouted everybody. And, amid a din of unanimity, Compromise was awarded the blue ribbon, The Romance of a Department Store “D° you sell mosquito bars?” The lady with the peroxide coiffure replied, with a smile: “We do.” “Then I'll take two,” The young man in the checkerboard suit gazed at them critically, “They'll do. I have a grand idea. I want one fitted over the other.” “Your idea—?” “Is to arrange them so that each mosquito, as he twists his way through the outer one, will discover, to his intense mortification and chagrin, that in order to get through the inner one he will have to perform an acrobatic feat so unprecedented as practically to render him hors de combat. Do you follow me?” She leaned forward with a bright, unintelligent smile. “ And might I ask, sir,” she inquired, “what you will do with them when you have thus imprisoned them beyond peradventure?” Not to be outdone, the handsome stranger from Hackensack—for it was none other than he—replied: “If you will give me your name and address I will have them forwarded to you by fast freight.” “Dost, you want to see so many of these clever, talky women at the polls?” “Yes, North and South.” “ say, YousE! PASSENGERS AIN'T ALLOWED ON THE FRONT PLATFORM!” comicbooks.com