Life, 1915-06-24 · page 37 of 45
Life — June 24, 1915 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines satirical editorial content with period advertising. The main feature is a mockery of vivisection (animal testing). **The Satire:** Dr. O. B. Crewell, "Professor of Agony at Horror College," delivers a lecture justifying animal experimentation through obviously absurd logic. He claims torturing animals teaches valuable lessons—that cutting live animals causes pain, that neglected wounds lead to death, that removing hearts stops heartbeats. The satire is heavy-handed: these "discoveries" require no scientific justification. The piece appears to argue against vivisection by exposing how thin its rationales actually are. **The Advertisements:** The page features three unrelated ads: Ajax Tires (guaranteeing 5,000 miles), Dioxogen antiseptic, and a Celebrity Art Company offer—typical early 20th-century marketing. **Historical Context:** This reflects a genuine contemporary debate about animal testing ethics, with anti-vivisection sentiment strong among American progressives of this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Valuable Information “AJOW, gentlemen,” said Dr. O. Crewell, Professor of Agony at Horror College, “I trust you appre- ciate the great value of the experi- ments we have been undertaking. All this information will be of great bene- fit to you in doctoring the human race, Let me recall a few of the most interesting cases. “You will remember that wonder- ful experiment in which we succeeded in making a dog's heart beat two or three times after it was removed. You never can tell when you will have a patient who would like to have his heart beat after he is dead. You wilt be able to accommodate him and charge a larger fee for your services. “Then, of course, we have learned that it is extremely painful to dogs and cats and monkeys and guinea pigs to be cut up alive. This is very valuable information and could only have been acquired by the ingenious torture of sensitive animals, “We have learned that if a dog or cat or other living animal be mutilated and then sent back to the kennels and its wounds neglected, it will suffer ex- cruciating misery, waste away and finally die. The great benefit of this information to the human race is in- calculable. : “TI do not wish to indulge in idle boasting, but so many misstatements have been made by sentimental anti- vivisectionists that it is necessary for us to defend this humane science. So I say, if it weren't for vivisection, how Handsome is as handsome does The beauty of Ajax Tires is the prodigality of their achievement—the miles you get for the price you pay. Ajax Tires are not only better, give more miles and are thus cheaper to use, but their good qualities are guaranteed in writing for 5000 miles. No other tires have the same high mileage expectancy; no others are guaranteed in writing. The success of Ajax Tires in your service is insured. The quality of every Ajax Tire ever made has been guar- anteed in writing. Ajax quality is thus not of recent discovery or origin, but dates back 10 years and has continued because of our stead- fast determination for higher worth. Ajax Tires are better, and are entitled to a full confidence because we have built more mileage into Your home should never be without Dioxogen. Itis the first protection against infectious dis- ease. Dioxogen is not ordinary peroxide. It is 99-961/1000 per cent. pure—entirely {ree from acetanilid, the bitter, questionable preserva- tive which other peroxides require. It is stronger, too, That you may know what Dioxozen is, we will gladly send you this trial size bottle, on requesi. Write today. The Oakland Chemical Co., 10 Astor Place, New York Ajax Tires and guarantee that it is there. ACAX For Your Protection Beyond the ordi- nary provisions of a commercial guar- antee covering ma- terials and work- manship is pro- tection for your tire investment in car with Guaranteed guarantee of 5000 Ajax dealer AJAX-GRIEB RUBBER COMPANY, tnc. 1796-1798 Broadway, New York Boston, Brooklyn, Chicago, £ Mimneapetis, Philadelphia, Seattle, apolis, Kansas City, 3 a Factories: Trenton, N. J. Act On Your Impulse If your impuls 3 Ajax Tires TIRES and thus Ainow for yourself of their in writing better worth and bigger value, decide today to equip your the Ajax written Tires. There is an miles. to serve you. jax nearby could we know that injuries are pain- ful, that animals can not live without their vital organs, that severed arterics will bleed, that animals, if deprived of food and water, will starve, that impurities in the blood will make the Dlood impure, et cetera? “Young gentlemen, you have been the beneficiaries of a rare privilege. I hope you will go forth in the world and make good use of the information you have acquired.” Ellis O, Jones. The Pup: “I'm gonna stick around!" will double up Elee over this typically CELEBRITY ART CO. 23 Col - BOSTON, MASS,