Life, 1915-06-03 · page 22 of 52
Life — June 3, 1915 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes American Prohibition and wartime anti-German sentiment (WWI era). **"Ballads of the Freshet"** mocks Prohibition's recent passage by blaming Germany's Kaiser for America's alcohol ban—a darkly humorous inversion suggesting the Kaiser caused it as sabotage. The poem lists prominent figures (George Rex, Tsar Nick, William Jennings Bryan, Josephus Daniels) adopting temperance, and fantasizes about destroyed vineyards and breweries. **The cartoon** depicts a grotesque German propagandist spreading "peace" messaging ("Lobe an' beace"), satirizing German peace propaganda as hypocritical and menacing. **"What Would You Do If"** offers absurd hypothetical scenarios testing readers' moral character—ranging from wartime romance to bribery to spousal surprises. This appears unrelated to the political content, serving as generic humor filler. The page's core message: blaming Germany for unwanted domestic policies, while mocking both German propaganda and American gullibility.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“*LSIESE: Ballads of the Freshet EORGE REX is on the water-wagon; Tsar Nick is taking only tea; Bill Bryan tips the grape-juice flagon And gives us all the gay tee-hee! How grimly smiles Josephus D., Who put fresh water in the salt! From Maine to Texas there is glee— And it’s that blooming Kaiser’s fault! The rose-pink snake and purple dragon Are banned; hereafter it will be The worst of form to get a jag on; John Barleycorn—you're twenty-three! And down in Washington, D. C., Whoever dares to call a halt Is due to get the third degree— And it's that blooming Kaiser’s fault! Bacchantes (sculpt without a rag on) Will be reduced to mere débris; Books with old vinous Omar's tag on Will all be burned; and we shall see Distillers drariag every tree, The brewers drowning in their malt, While gutters run with Burgundy— And it’s that blooming Kaiser’s fault! Bacchus, ‘twas made in Germany! Bill, with his little catapult, Began the mischief; yes, sirree, It's all that blooming Kaiser's fault! Frank Roe Batchelder. “GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!" THE GENTLE GERMAN PROPAGANDA “LOFE AN’ BEACE, DAT IS WOT WE CHERMANS BRING TO DE WORLD—BAX GERMANICA—WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT; AND ANYONE WHO TINKS DIFFERENT IS A SCHWEINEHUND!” What Would You Do If— ‘OU were on a raft in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, accompanied by an entrancingly beautiful girl, and only a jar of orange marmalade between you, and there bore down upon you a German warship commanded by a man who had fallen in love with this girl when she was staying at Baden Baden in the spring of 1914, and had been refused?—What would you do? You should enter a well-known hotel restaurant in New York at seven P. M. with a friend, and, wishing to obtain a good seat, should motion to the head waiter and slip him a five-dollar bill, and he should put his hand in his pocket and, taking out four dollars and ninety cents, should press it into your hand, at the same time remarking: “I cannot rob a stranger, Ten cents is quite enough.”—What would you do? After meeting an old college friend suddenly and bring- ing him home to dinner and to spend the night, without telephoning ahead or sending any message whatsoever, your dear wife, when you were at last alone and could talk freely to each other, should throw her arms about you and say: “TI just love to have you surprise me in this charm- ing manner; always do it, will you?”—What would you do? comicbooks.com