Life, 1915-05-20 · page 16 of 44
Life — May 20, 1915 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes blind optimism during WWI era America through a dialogue between a cynical observer and "Hon. Nero Futomoto" (a character with a deliberately absurd Japanese-sounding name, typical of period ethnic humor). Futomoto offers "statistics" proving America's rosy future by twisting current events into false positives: cotton profits from war ammunition, military satisfaction ensuring peace through "impossibility to fight," income tax decline as "freedom," Prohibition-era patent medicines as proof of sobriety, and lower tango dancing as moral improvement. The cartoon depicts observers amid wartime desolation—a beggar, abandoned equipment—while one figure optimistically gestures, highlighting the disconnect between cheerful propaganda and grim reality. **The satire's target:** American politicians and business leaders peddling misleading statistics to justify war profiteering and mask genuine hardship. The author (likely Wallace Irwin) mocks how statistics manipulate public perception during crisis.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Victim: thing else, In time of peace every- body must be serious because pre- paring for war, In time of war each person must behave kittenish because preparing for peace. When folks are most amused they are less joyful, be- cause too busy enjoying themselves. Nobody is so happy as gentleman liv- ing in deez cellar observing merry-go- around outside. Thusly it are with life.” “You learn considerable life from undertaking business?” are next ques- tion for me. “Tam in position to meet all best people at only time of their lives when everybody are saying pleasant things about them, Also, from unpleasant duty of always remaining cheerful I can see nothing but rosy in all out- looks.” “What you see rosy for outlook of American and other business candi- tions?” I require peevly, “Great optimism can be produced by statistics,” he divuldge. “ There- fore I show you a few I made for all branches of American industry. “Cotton—European war have made great demand for American cotton to be shot off in cannons. Democratic administration have been so kind to South that cotton grow twice as fast. Therefore, if war keeps on and Wil- son continues what can keep Southern planters from making finance go OPTIMISM around again with speed resembling bisickles? Nothing! “Army and Navy—'The Army & Navy Forever’ were entitle of speech delivered by important Congressman. This indicate that Congress are so well satisfied with soldiers and boats just as they always was that they will continue without change forever. Thusly war will be averted by im- possibility to fight. “Income Tax—Due to fall-off among wealthy rich there are no incomes to tax, therefore American are more free than formerly. “Temperance—Sale of patent med- ical drinks in Prohibition centers prove that whiskey habit are being cured by use of alcohol. “Marriage—This species of birth- rate have been deliciously increased during past 12 months, because 2 can live cheaper than 1. Increased polyg- amy also noticed in Utah where 4 can live cheaper than 2. “Solid Virtues—Caused by simplic- ity of living folks must become more moral. Consequence of this they spend less $$ on roof garden and more cc on movery-picture shows. “Tango—Hardness of times are causing Hon. Vernon Castle to retire from business with 10000000$ pretty soonly as quick as he can make more. Therefore. Folks will forget how to IT CERTAINLY IS A GLORIOUS DAY FOR A PICNIC dance and go back to simple turkey- trot of our fourfathers. “Taxicabs—Nearly all American Taxicabs has been sold to Allies for fight Germany. This are probably rea- son why advance in Belgium are fre- quently so slow and expensive. Health & wealth are considerably saved in New York where walking is being taught in midnight restaurants.” Hon. Nero Futomoto say this statis- tics parigorically. “TI am inflamed by your bright & optimo thoughts,” are smart comet from me. “Also I admire you more than Caruso. In time of health under- takers should mourn. Yet you bravely retain comedy!” “Martyrs smile sweetest,” he di- vuldge, “when expecting execution.” Hoping you are the same Yours truly Hasuraura Toco. (Per Wallace Irwin.) Getting Even IRST VILLAGER: Hello, Aaron; hear you've got married. What kind of a match did you make? Seconp Vittacer: Well, neighbor, I didn’t do as well as I expected—but to tell the truth, I don’t think she did, either. comicbooks.com