Life, 1915-04-15 · page 18 of 44
Life — April 15, 1915 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **Top cartoon**: A doctor observes a man stuck in mud with his car, remarking he's "glad" the patient is taking prescribed walking exercise—satirizing the irony that the man is clearly stranded rather than healthily exercising. **"Nocturne"**: Parodies pretentious modernist/impressionistic poetry by describing a mundane, uncomfortable car ride (stuck in his wife's automobile with gasoline dripping on him, dust everywhere) in flowery, overly-serious language. The satire mocks artistic movements that treat trivial subjects as profound. **"Adequating Our Navy"**: A political opinion piece arguing that simply spending more money on naval buildup is wasteful—the U.S. has spent more than Germany but still has an inadequate navy. The author sarcastically suggests alternative methods (capturing, borrowing, or stealing ships) rather than continued spending, critiquing government military policy. **"A Repeater"**: A brief joke about a evangelical preacher who "converts" a chronic sinner repeatedly because the man keeps relapsing into sin.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Doctor: au! GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE TAKING THAT WALKING EXERCISE 1 PRESCRIBED Nocturne (A Sample of the Modern Impression- istic School.) OW wonderful it is, here in the twilight! On my back, through the half-open chassis of my wife’s auto, I can see two stars twinkle. They are the first stars of the evening. A squirrel is passing on the fence. i throw him a nut from my machine, Dut he scorns it. I wonder vaguely why, And above, the stars. A drop of gasoline trickles slowly down my neck. And all else is silence, save the voice of my wife, who is explaining to me what to do and ask- ing how far it is home, and whether I am really hurrying. Silence—and night. The squirrel has gone. Look! There is a host of stars! It is night and I am crooning and swearing softly to myself. Also at the omnipotent creature above. But not so loud that she hears me. No! No! No! And there is dust all about me. I can even taste it. Dust I was and to dust T now return. Ah! What a sadness possesses my soul! Adequating Our Navy VERYBODY wants a navy which is adequate to defend us against attack, but nobody has yet come for- ward with a feasible plan for getting it. True, some of our more impetuous statesmen assert that we should appro- priate more money and? buy more ships, but in view of our experience, that would be absurd. We have tried buying a navy, but it is no go. In the last sixteen years we have spent more for naval purposes than militaristic Ger- many herself, but in spite of that, high authorities now assure us that our navy is not to-be mentioned in the same breath with such high-toned words as “ efficient”, “ superior ”, “ first- class” and the like. So what is the use of spending more money? We must think of some other way. Maybe we can capture a navy or beg one or bor- row one or steal one. Maybe other ways can be contrived, but buying is an abject failure. a THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN A Repeater “MOU say that ly verted you?” Sure he did.” replied the Terrible Example. “ He converts me every time I hear him.” Sunday con- “ECLICKER’S company sent him down into Mexico to take motion pictures of the President.” “And did he succeed?" “Rather. He stayed a week and posed three of them.”