Life — April 8, 1915 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

628 If Things Were Reversed TRE unknown playwright sat in his private office reading the manu- script of his first play. timid knock at the door. theatrical manager in entered. The unknown looked at him sternly. “Well, sir, what can I do for you?” “Hearing, quite by accident, that you had written a play, I have hur- ried here for the honor of being the first to produce it and make you fa- mous.” He took out his check book. “Will ten thousand advance do?” he asked. “And, now if it is not too much to ask, would you give me the exquisite pleasure of listening to your play from your own lips?” “Upon conditions,” snapped the un- known playwright. “Name them, sir—they are yours.” “That my name be double the size of yours in all the advertising.” “Granted.” “That not a line be changed.” “Granted.” “That the company be of my own se- lection, and be made to fit the plot, and not the plot to the company.” “Granted.” “That your friends all sit in the back rows, all speculators be abolished and that yor absolutely refuse to know any members of the chorus.” “ Granted.” “That you give me the privilege, later on, should I desire it, of marry- ing your young and handsome wife, you to pay all the expenses of the divorce.” “Granted.” The unknown playwright took up his manuscript. “And now,” he said, giving the check to his office-boy to cash, “you There was a The greatest the country playwright Let US have peace GERMAN REBUS “AM I RIGHT?” sit still for the next four hours and listen, and if you get restless or show the slightest sign that you are not en- joying yourself, I'll throw you out of the window and send word to all the other unknown playwrights not to have anything to do with you.” First Aid To Serum T seems that the anti-tetanus serum has not been a complete success, but the trouble is not so much with the serum as with the disease. The disease progresses so fast that convulsions set in and the patient is so worn out by them that he dies of asphyxiation be- fore the anti-tetanus serum can become effective. So it is seen that the serum would gladly do all that is expected of it, if the disease would only be calm and give it half a chance. Dr. Meltszer, of the Rockefeller In- stitute, thinks, however, that he has found a way to overcome this draw- back. He proposes to inject a solution of epsom salts into the spinal mem- brane. This 1s intended to relax the body completely and relieve the con- vulsions. The only weak point about Dr. Meltszcr’s treatment is that the patient will be relaxed so thoroughly that he can’t breathe, and death will ensue. But let us not be discouraged. If we keep on trying, we are sure to find a way of keeping patients alive while they are being poisoned and mutilated. E. 0. J. Wisdom T is easy enough to appear wise when. one is dealing with a lot of imma- ture college youths, but the professor that’s fine is the professor who can shine in a mixed company of adults far away from the academic atmosphere. FLvre: What model is your car? - Rurr: Second mortgage. comichooks.