Life, 1915-04-01 · page 28 of 72
Life — April 1, 1915 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century American society: **"Egotistically Speaking"**: A philosophical dialogue where the narrator confronts himself about holding unpopular political opinions. The satire critiques conformity—suggesting that popularity requires abandoning individual thought. The piece argues that authentic personality *depends* on holding independent views, even unpopular ones. **"Jack Spratt" modernization**: Updates the nursery rhyme to mock consumer culture and automobile obsession. The joke: the couple sacrifices meals (basic necessities) to afford a car—satirizing the era's automobile craze as economically irrational. **"Mother Goose of To-Day"**: Updates "Simple Simon" to reference WWI. The dark humor: fishing nets now catch mines instead of fish, reflecting wartime anxieties. This appears to reference German naval mines threatening shipping. **"The Crooked Man"**: A nursery rhyme update depicting political corruption—a crooked businessman who bribes a crooked senator to fix laws. It satirizes corruption in government and business as systemic and interconnected. All pieces use familiar nursery rhyme formats to critique modern vices: conformism, consumerism, militarism, and corruption.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
556 “LIFE: Egotistically Speaking MET myself. Personally,” said I, “I like you. You have a rare charm about you which is highly attractive, but there are a great many things about you which I do not like at all.” I was dumbfounded to hear these words from myself. “Just what do you mean?” I demanded. “Explain yourself.” “Well, politically, for instance. You seem to have the faculty of getting hold of unpopular ideas, and then to make it worse, instead of keeping them to yourself, you flaunt them about everywhere and thus get yourself disliked.” “But you just said you liked me,” I reminded myself. “So I do, personally,” I replied, “and that’s why T want you to be more sensible in your views.” “But did you ever stop to think that if I were more sensible in my views, as you call it; that is, if I merely followed the crowd and had no opinions except those which the crowd had, then I would be just as common- place as the crowd? In that case, you would like my opinions perhaps, but you wouldn't like me.” “T don't think it would work out that way,’ myself, “but there may be something in what you say.” “Think it over,” I suggested. “You will find that you like me, not in spite of my unpopular opinions, but because of them; that is, you like me because I have opinions of ACK SPRATT could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean, a Because they went without their meals to ride in a machine, MOTHER GOOSE OF TO-DAY Simple Simon out a fishing, Pulled in all his lines; But every fish that Simon caught Was full of German mines! my own, not because they are any particular kind of opinions.” “Now, tell me just exactly what it is you wanted to say,” said I to myself, in great perplexity. “How absurd!” I retorted. “ Nobody is ever able to tell just exactly what he wants to say.” E was a crooked man and he wore a crooked smile. He made a crooked fortune in a very crooked style. He framed a crooked law, as cunning as a mouse, And he hired a crooked senator who fixed a crooked house.