Life — March 4, 1915 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR. FOOLISH CONTEMPORAR! Such a Little School The teacher of a certain country school was making a report to the su- perintendent. “And did I understand you to say,” asked he, “that fifty per cent. of your pupils are foreigners?” “Oh, no,” was the reply; “there are not fifty per cent. of pupils in the whole school."—Woman's Home Companion. Barton & Guesticr Clarets, Sauternes and Olive Oil are available at moderate prices in all markets. Supplies are maintained. The French professor who says that the sun is never really where it scems to be, probably wants to prevent Germany from finding her place in it. —IWall Street Journal. A New Beverage for Clubs and Homes Spicy! Sparkling! Bubbling! A flavor too new, too delightful, to. describe! Alll the fizz, sparkle and ex- hilaration of finest champagne, but safe for everyone to drink! Hires - " Unfermented” This vivacious, healthful drink does not contain alcohol nor other false stimulants. Mothers may serve it to children with safety. A favorite dinner and banquet beverage. Made from choicest unfermented white Niagara grape juice, spiciest fresh ginger root, purest cane sugar and grape fruit. We will send a sample bottle, if you send us 10c and your grocer’s name. The Charles E, Hires Co. Philadelphia | DEITIES “The Utmost in Tain End orCork He: When I proposed to Flossie she asked me for a little time to make up her min Sie (the hated rival): Oh! makes that up, too, does she? —London Opinion. So she ntul of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Prait makes petizing tonte. Samplo of bittera by mall 2cts in W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. His Collection Wire: John, the bill collector's at the door. Hussy: Tell him to take that pile on my desk.—Penn State Froth, We Americans live more carefully these days. We have learned that moderation makes for efficiency and health and prosperity. And thus the particular man insists upon a mild, mellow Whiskey, every- time, everywhere—Wilson—Real Wilson—That’s All! The Whiskey for which we invented the Non-Refillable Bottle FREE CLUB RECIPES—Free booklet of famous club recipes for mixed drinks, Address Wil mn, 13 East 31st Street, N.Y. That's All! A Gloomy View The five-year-old daughter of an army officer at Fort Hamilton was returning from Sunday-school a short time ago when she met a friend of the family who asked her where she had been. “ Jus’ to Sunday-school,” she said “And what did you do there? tioned the friend. “Oh, we jus’ sang sad songs about heaven,” answered the child. —Harper's Magazine There is a supply of Gordon Dry Gin in een market of the United States. Statements to th | contrary are misleading for ulterior purpose. Get don Dry Gin is sold at popular prices. It coss no more than many ordinary brands. Doctor: rest. Ovexworkep Mercuant: I'm too busy to go awa: c then, you must stop advertising —St. Louis Times. You must go away for a long But, doctor, My methods produce perfect, results developing and printit kodak films, Miles Greenwood, Melrose, Mass, |) Makes your teeth . feel clean comichooks.deltim