Life — February 25, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

312 A Post-historic Lay OR over the careless years, were done, In the pre-eugenic days; I was a man of six feet one, And you had a woman's ways. How frail you were, when I knew you then, With a frill and a furbelow, And the harem skirt of 1910, And the French heels down below! While mine was the garb of the puny men Who lived in the long ago. But a million styles have come and gone And we're done with “pants” and stays; Since I was a dwarf of six fect one, And you had a woman's ways. Our evolution is now complete, And our Roman robes float free; Chopped hay and nuts are all we eat, We sleep in a swinging tree. Our ears are far from our fingered feet And our height is ten feet three. But not for a moment do I forget Those pre-eugenic days When I was a care-free husbandette, And you had a woman's ways! Be a Jitney HY not be a jitney? A jitney, as all the world will soon know, is a bus that does not require a track to run upon, is inde- pendent, and, because of its reckless manner of getting immediate transpor- tation results, is hurting the business of regular franchised roadsy with real bond issues and a seat in the Legis- lature. Then why not be a jitney? Read what you please, go where you please, cat what you please, do what you please, regardless of time or circum- stances, social surveys, efficiency ex- perts, regulating committees, pros and antis, health cures and don't worry clubs. It's a new idea. SUMMER AUTUMN. WINTER Victims T appears that some of us have been enjoying ourselves for many years without knowing why, and that many of us have really been suffering when we were supposing we were enjoying ourselves. It now lies with us, how- ever, to know just where we stand. Mankind will henceforth have his en- joyments efficiently guaranteed. Here is a part of the scheme, a section of the structure erected from Mr. E. A. Purington’s article in the Independent: The amusements should be marked plus (+-) where they increase effi- ciency, minus (—) where they de- it, and zero (0) where they ave no special effect cither way. List B is not complete, but merely illustrate: Adding the plus marks, then can- celling each minus with a plus, we have the largest plus remainder (124-) for the mountain tramp, and the largest minus remainder (13—) for the dinner party. Hence the for- mer is the best and the latter the worst recreation of those here given, for this particular manager of a city store. But all those marked + in the column of values are good for him, and all those marked — are likely to be bad. If any item in List A is of special importance, that should count double in figuring the totals; two -- or two — marks, as the case may be. So far as play is concerned, the efficiency system has hitherto been con- fined to the school-children. And we must say they made of it a good, clean job. All children now play by a card-index system and apparatus. The helpless little creatures, gathered into a geometrical playground, are psy- chologically amused as much as they can endure and are then, like the King of France's men, marched back to the classroom to have injected into their imprisoned minds appropriate doses of predigested knowledge. But up to the time Mr. Purington invaded the field we thought the tired business man was safe. But even he also is now in for it—God help him! Ts Led On the Safe Side ILLY: If you kiss me I'll scream. Buy: Well, so long as you don’t scream first it’s all right. comichooks.gom