Life, 1915-01-28 · page 32 of 40
Life — January 28, 1915 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Life* magazine (likely WWI-era, based on submarine and battleship references). **Top section: Congressional debate satire.** Politicians exchange absurd claims about military preparedness—one congressman claims only "wan submarine and twelve soldiers" exist, another boasts of ten battleships while admitting factories will need "two or three years" to produce ammunition. When a third congressman mentions factories working "night and day," another immediately seizes on this to accuse the government of forcing workers beyond eight-hour shifts, rousing colleagues to oppose it. The satire mocks Congress for simultaneously bragging about military strength while being more concerned with labor politics than actual defense. **Bottom section: "Make England a Holding Company."** This proposes incorporating Britain as a business entity to justify its imperial holdings (Egypt, Cyprus, etc.). The satire suggests Britain's only legitimate claim to its empire is "civilization," not conquest—and that maintaining these territories requires public consent rather than force. **Right image:** "At the Jungle Movies—The Hunter Always Gets the Worst of It" shows the hunter apparently losing to jungle animals in a slapstick scenario.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
164 Jo) Bt) bo ell oa Are We Prepared ?—or, Getting Out the Facts Scene: Tue Hats or Concress, ONGRESSMAN BLOHARD (speaking): Mr. Presi- dent, wan submarine and twelve soldiers—I have this from the census report compiled by my able and almost intelligent friend, the gentieman from East Hackensack— this is the extent of our defense. Mr. Burterin: Will the gentleman yield? Mr. Bionarp: No. Mx. Butterin: As I was saying when the gentleman interrupted me, how about battleships? Mr. Bronarp: Battleships, is it? Shure, there may be wan or two, but they’re good for nawthin’, Mr. Pinneap: Mr. President, never was our army and navy in better condition. I have here a statistical inquiry of four hundred and forty-eight pages, which I will only read in part, leaving it to be printed in the Record, so that the country may know I ain’t idle, and I find (page 41,144) that we have ten battleships of the first rank, cight of the second rank—— Voice: They're all rank. Mr. Bronarp: And, Mr. President, that is not all, Our factories are working night and <.y to turn out ammuni- tion which in two or three years from now— Mr. Butterin: Did I understand the gentleman to say night and day? Mr. Pinneap: Yes, sir, those were my words. Tue Presivent: The hour of the gentleman from North. Tammany Hall has expired. Mr. Butterin: Night and day! Did the house hear that? Night and day! My friends, what does that mean? If it means anything at all, it means that some of the workingmen of this country, whom I am always proud to shake by the hand, are working more than eight hours a day. Labor that should be sacred is used for this base purpose. My friends, will we stand for it? Cuorus oF Memners (zwho realize vaguely that some one having mentioned the labor vote, it behooves them all not to get in wrong): Never! (Ete, ete., ete., for four more hours.) Make England a Holding Company INCE the war began England has perfected her title to Egypt, and taken over Cyprus from Turkey. How about incorporating England as a holding company to possess the earth for the use and benefit of the other folks doing business in it; not, of course, that anyone would want anything she claims as hers, but just to save her from embarrassment. The truth is that the best claim the British Empire can put forward for continued existence is that it is already a holding company for the benefit of civilization. On no other basis are its present holdings tenable, and it is far beyond Great Britain's present strength to retain them AT THE JUNGLE MOVIES except by something nearly approaching general consent. THE HUNTER ALWAYS GETS THE WORST OF IT mee lh comichookss