Life — January 28, 1915 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

146 ~LIFE-: A Super-baby NNOUNCEMENT was recently made that a baby born in Wisconsin was the first baby born under the eugenic law of that State, which went into effect about a year ago. The weight of the baby is given at eleven and one-half pounds. It appears to be a good, durable boy baby, but is there any guarantee from the State? It would seem as if, when a State makes a law about babies, and the contracting parties conform to the law, the State should guarantee the results. That is only fair. Of course one of the difficulties in a : case like this is the transient quality of the State. There are blue laws on the statute- book of Connecticut now that no authori- ties would think of enforcing. Suppose this baby turns out to be gambler, a gunman or a poet. What is to be done about it? Who is to pay for it? Babies are an uncertain quantity. Some of the unhealthiest specimens you can imagine, fit only to take the booby prize at the Asbury Park baby show, have done, later on, some of the greatest things in the world. " An ordinary gambling establishment, | CARROTS BROWN AND HIS PALS TELL THE DOG CATCHER WHAT THEY THINK OF HIM with a faro outfit, roulette, three-card monte, and every other appliance, run, say, by a retired publisher, is like a If They Really Told the Truth Sunday-school picnic compared with the chances parents take with a baby. Reducing the mortality may only increase the number of incompetents. Raising ANNOUNCEMENT in Local Pa- the physical standard seems to be a good thing, but there are so many variants pers: Having long been president that nobody can tell until it is too late to care. What Wisconsin has been of the bank in this place, a vestryman in attempting is to become an understudy for Nature and Providence. Every baby defies her. church, and an occupant of other offi- ces, I think it only fair to say that my reputation as an able and respectable business man is very much over- estimated. I get my opinions from the papers, have lost a lot of money by spec- ulation, have long lived heyond my in- come, and secretly doubted the doctrine of the church I attend. To be perfectly frank, I arrived at my present position more by luck than anything else. Patronize My Butcher Shop: 1 al- Chorus of Irate Longlegs: WE CAN'T SEE OVER OUR OWN KNEES THESE NARROW AISLES ARE AN OUTRAGE, ways send you more meat than you order, thereby increasing the size of your bills. I keep nothing but cold- storage products. The wealthiest peo- ple served first. I make a specialty of second-hand cuts. Garage: Stop here and have your gasoline tank filled with the poorest oil in the State. If you need repairs we will guarantee to’ do your car more harm in an hour than any repair shop advertised. Retired soda-water clerks employed for mechanics. Old parts supplied for new. ce, Be} My, 1s €