Life, 1915-01-14 · page 16 of 44
Life — January 14, 1915 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical "Letters" column where a Japanese schoolboy writes to *Life* magazine in deliberately broken English, ostensibly interviewing a Japanese newspaper editor about international treaties and war. The satire targets **American naïveté about treaties and warfare** during what appears to be the early WWI era. The Japanese editor mockingly explains that treaties are meaningless—each nation follows its own version depending on "alcoholism drunk in country from which it come from." He argues that Germany's military strength (invoking **Krupp**, the famous German arms manufacturer) supersedes treaty obligations, and that warfare operates like big business with casualty figures as acceptable costs. The crude cartoon depicts what appears to be **aerial bombing**, likely referencing Zeppelins (German airships) dropping bombs on British targets like Westminster Abbey—a contemporary fear. The satire's point: American faith in treaties as peace guarantees is foolishly optimistic. Power and military capability, not legal documents, determine nations' behavior in war.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ge el hal eal ca Letters of a Japanese School-boy To Editor “ Life Magazine” who shoot ink continuously in war- fare without depopulating some- body, AR SIR:— Hon. Kamo Mackenzeki, Japanese Editor, come my room of recently for talk editorials from Tokyo Shinbun of which he are now correspondent. He have learned very neat American wit- saying “ Nicks on the War Talk”, yet he continue onwards thinking submarines. “Could not those Germany be stopped by some treaty or other fortification?” I ask to know for first interview. “They might but could they?” are brilliance from him. “ Treaties is like other forms of «brass bands—each town got one but no two (2) play same tune. There are Treaty of Paris, Treaty of Berlin, Treaty of St Petersburg, Treaty of Antwerp, Treaty of Lou- vain, Treaty of Portsmouth, Treaty of Waldorf-Astoria, cach dependent on style of language and alcoholism drunk in country from which it come from.” “There are also Hay-Punchfat Treaty aren’t there not?” I ask to know. “Yes is. Also McGraw-Stallings Treaty, Treaty of Hague & Hague and some others. In shortness, there are always treaties following baseballs, cannonballs, highballs and all other in- jurious brickbats.” “For what are Treaties made for are next examination I enquire. “For peace.” This from him briefly. “For peace?” Task out. “Why then should they be warfares?” “T said for Peace,” he negotiate with split expression peculiar to Hon. Wm Taft. “When you manufacture something for peace you could not use it for war could it? Answer is, No!! There are too much conversational menace being spoken in all news- prints about Hon. Germany bursting >” Treaties “Hon Krupp are stronger than Truth” treaties. When patriotism are added to saurkraut and 10,000,000 enraged gentlemen resume helmet and com- mence sing ‘Deutchland Uber Allies’ then it become very ill-healthy place for stenographers writing promises to keep kings sober & orderly ad inde- finitum.” “Ussurancely yes,” I repose. “ But should not German culture have some respects for promises?” “Hon. Krupp are twice stronger than Truth and shoot 7% miles fur- ther,” he agnosticate. “Armies what would blow up Rheims cathedral would not respect Carnegie libraries, could it?” I stand gast for this phenomenal. “Warfare in this periodical date of time,” he resum on re conducted in same manner as other big business. Object are to get there at whatever Hon, Employer are careluss how many employees he kill so long he can accomplish.” “Do Kaiser Wm advance similar to Trusts?” I require hastly. “ Exactly like,” he narrate. “ As soonly as he start encroachihg forwards Supreme Courts of Eng- land, Ireland, France, Belgium, Tokyo, Montenegro & Guam meets together for decide he are unconstitutional. Nextly they know 24 Zippeling balloons is drop- ping bombs on Westminster Abbey for prove that there are flaw somewhere in Sherman anti-trust law.” “Zippeling balloons seldom hits what they aims at,” I negotiate. “No. But they nearly always succeeds in bursting Treaty of Hague,” he oblate. “Tell me more of the Rocke- feller behavior of this Hohen- zollern gentleman,” I consume. “German army are deliciously scientific,” he execute. “ When they advance on town they firstly send forth engineer corps on motorsickles for see if Hon. Town is there. Nextly come Hon. Doctors for see all would be healthy place for heroes to die in. Nextly come Lawyers in subpoena-proof otto- mobiles—” “For which?” I negotiate gastly. “For break treaties. Hon. Lawyers at oncely advance to City Hall where they murder employees, dynamite safe, pull forth all legalized documents from there and go work with rapidity pe- culiar to Germany when earnest. Num- berous Herr Professors-of-Law make cager thumbs through papers until, of suddenly, they dishcover what re- quired—treaty of peace made with Germany in pastime of yore. “Pretty soonly in come Gen von Nussbaum containing considerable rompus. “* Herr ollicute Professor Pffeffertutz,’ he distinetually, ‘how — many ve you found in this village?’ “*Sixteen,’ report Hon. Prof from eyeglasses. ‘Four of them are signed by Emp of Germany promusing city of Camembert peace forever.’ comichooks.com