Life, 1914-12-24 · page 14 of 40
Life — December 24, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **"A Christmas Carol"** — a satirical poem mocking financial brokers during what appears to be a stock market crisis. The illustrated header shows nine figures in period dress representing different social types, with the caption "HE: WOMEN ARE ALL ALIKE!" The main article **"Cheap Claptrap About Brokers"** criticizes Philadelphia's *Ledger* newspaper for praising bankers and brokers as heroes who "saved" the financial system. Life's satire argues instead that brokers engaged in risky speculation that nearly destroyed the market, and they deserve little credit for merely preventing total collapse. The bottom cartoon shows Professor Depthynker, a distracted scientist, apparently oblivious to gravity — a visual pun on the financial world's disconnection from reality during the crisis.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Christmas Carol WIDDLE—DE—DUM, Twiddle—dum—de, Playing the game of Expectancy, _ Under the glare of the Christmas tree, Blending of craft and philanthropy, Marvelous game of humanity, Twiddle—de—dum, Twiddle—dum—de, Twiddle—de—dum, Twiddle—dum—de, The rules are as simple—just listen and sec; The gift you receive should be worth about three Of the one you bestow upon—possibly me, Annually tempting the powers that be; Twiddle—de—dum, ‘ Twiddle—dum—de. “Cheap Claptrap About Brokers” HAT a sweet, simple nature has our good neighbor, the Phila- delphia Public Ledger! Here it is telling us what a great financial crisis we have passed, and how well we have come through it, and how much we owe to the bankers for their efforts, and how thankful we should be to the brokers, who, though their busi- ness is to buy and sell for others, put aside in the public interest their whole means of livelihood for four entire months. The Ledger says: Had the exchanges remained open the desire of Europe to sell would have made the stock-market business He: WOMEN ARE ALL ALIKE! of brokers far heavier than it had been for years. These profitable transactions were barred out by the brokers themselves. One result, therefore, of this remarkable pro- ceeding ought to be to banish for- ever the cheap claptrap about brokers and private bankers which holds them up as wolves who prey upon innocent victims. The bankers have done well; the brokers have done nobly; give them all praise. But, dear comrade, don’t you think that if the stock exchanges hadn't shut down, about nine out of ten active brokers would have gone bust? If stocks had slammed down thirty or forty points, or more, all around, as was expected, customers would have been wiped out, brokers couldn’t have got their money, and they would all have gone by the board together. The brokers did right, but they were not the pure altruists you make them out. When the cartload of “cheap claptrap about brokers” passes your place on the way to the dump, chuck yours in with the rest. AYTON: church? Parker: Well, just while this war lasts I don’t want to be taken for a Christian. Why don’t you go to PROFESSOR DEEPTHYNKER, THE CELEBRATED SCIENTIST WHO DISCOVERED A MEANS FOR OVERCOMING THE LAWS OF GRAVITY, IS QUITE ABSENT-MINDED comichooks.com