Life, 1914-12-03 · page 54 of 92
Life — December 3, 1914 — page 54: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous poem mocks the universality of corruption in early 20th-century travel. It contrasts an idealized past (Raschid's reign, where a Prince's magical gesture commanded respect everywhere) with modern reality, where money—"the Magic Word...is 'Plunk!'"—is the only universal language. The poet recounts encounters across the globe: Greek police demanding bribes ("make it ten"), Zambian cannibals who release him for five dollars, and Egyptian guides promoting tourist scams (the "singing" statue). Each anecdote illustrates that whether in Greece, Africa, or Egypt, the solution to every problem is the same: paying up. The cartoon's accompanying essay on "seizing opportunities" extends this theme, suggesting that success in modern life requires the same delicate, calculated approach as bribery—treating opportunities (and presumably officials) with careful "savoir faire" to avoid "irreparable injury." The satire critiques both widespread global corruption and the hypocrisy of "civilization"—suggesting that modern travelers are no better off than ancient peoples, just more cynical about it.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“THERE'S A REASON” How to Seize an Opportunity ANY men who know well enough how to recognize an opportunity do not understand how to seize it Properly. It must be remembered that opportunities are timid, and, accordingly, it is necessary to treat them with the utmost urbanity and savoir faire. Just as soon as an opportunity heaves in sight, let it perceive that you have breeding. Do not rush at it with the provincial uncouthness of some wild animal that never saw an opportunity in its life before. Opportunities that will stand for such treatment are not worth seizing at all. After effecting a strategical approach, lay hands upon it in such a manner as not to impair its value. Many of the best opportunities are of such fine texture and delicate mechanism that the slightest mishandling may result in irreparable injury. Seizing opportunities, like other forms of human activity, requires practice, and he who is faithful over a few little opportunities is made ruler over many big ones. £.0. 4. The Tali$manic $ign IX Raschid’s reign, so bards opine, A Prince of Tewthpik had a sign Which he could give in any land To make all peoples understand. He placed his hand upon his chest, Quoth “Zoolak Ed!” pulled down his vest, And all the folks from Rash to Zim Would ope their hearts and welcome him. Gone are the days of lamp and djinn, Old customs change, new stunts come in; So those who much for travel yearn ‘A modern High Sign have to learn. ee 8 Once while abroad in modern Greece I fell among the swart police, And all the Greek that I did know Was “ Zan pov cag ayarw !” My words of passion fell like ice Until I tapped my pocket twice, Which caused these erstwhile heartless men To chirp, “ We'll fix it—make it ten!” Once on Zambezi’s fronded shore A hundred cannibals or more O'ercame me, dragged me ‘cross the green Up to their popular cuisine. But when they’d locked me in a stall I slyly nudged my keeper tall And slipped him five. With courtesy low, “Thanks, boss!” he grinned—and Iet me go. I wandered on Egyptian sands Nigh to where Memnon’s statue stands, I asked my guide the usual thing, “Say, is it true this god can sing?” Whereat my Arab showed with pride A sign upon the idol’s side, “TO MAKE THE STATUE SING YOU'VE GOT TO DROP A DOLLAR IN THE SLOT.” oe In Raschid’s reign, so bards agree, A Prince a magic sign had he To win strange lands—no cost at all. Those times were economical! But he to-day who seeks new land Must hold his fortune in his hand; It may be Swaziland or Spain, Paris, Peru or Portland, Maine; But if he shows a princely mien And goes down frequent in his jean, Plessings will go where goes his trunk— The Magic Word to-day is “ Plunk!” comicbooks.com