Life, 1914-12-03 · page 30 of 92
Life — December 3, 1914 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"The Cook"** (by Arthur Guiterman): A humorous poem mocking the profession of cooking. The joke is that cooks must prepare elaborate dishes they cannot enjoy eating themselves—they know too well how these foods are made, spoiling their appetite. It's gentle satire on culinary labor. **"Buying Real Estate from Napoleon"**: The cartoon caption suggests a financial scam—someone fraudulently selling property allegedly owned by the deceased Napoleon Bonaparte. **"Old Adages Disproved"**: Sharp financial satire targeting modern capitalism and speculation. It mocks the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" by showing how financiers exploit intangible assets. Two birds in the bush can be mortgaged, underwritten with bonds, and leveraged repeatedly—generating paper wealth from nothing. The joke's dark punchline: "the only thing necessary to achieve these results is not to attempt to catch them" (i.e., never actually possess anything real). This satirizes 1920s financial speculation and bubble economics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Cook Is tough to have to con a Cook Book! (I much prefer my Trout-Fly-Hook- Book) ; Which means that I deplore the lot Of him who has to Boil the Pot. His Indoor Sports are cutting onions And roasting beef for “rump-fed ronyons”, Or baking buns or apple pie For Heartless Hordes in Hot July. Still worse, his Regular Employment Prevents his Gustative Enjoyment Of Timbales, Hash, and Things Sautéed,— Too well he knows of What They're Made! Arthur Guiterman, BUYING REAL ESTATE FROM NAPOLEON Old Adages Disproved That a Bird in the Hand Is Worth Two in the Bush. 'HIS crude saying represents the essence of material- ism. We have gone way beyond that now. Indeed, the case is so simple that every school-boy knows the truth, and almost any explanation is superfluous. For the benefit of a few misguided souls who have missed some of the benefits of our modern system we will briefly pre- sent the facts. A bird in the hand then is never more than a bird in the hand. It draws practically no interest and is only worth its actual value at any given moment. But think of the possibilities of two birds in the bush! Being screened from the public, they can immediately be underwritten; they are subject to a first mortgage bond issue, a second and a third on.top of that, not to mention common first and second preferred stock. After this they can go into the hands of a receiver. The only thing necessary to achieve “THEREBY HANGS A TALE” these results is not to attempt to catch them. comicbooks.com