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Life, 1914-11-12 · page 39 of 48

Life — November 12, 1914 — page 39: what you’re looking at

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Life — November 12, 1914 — page 39: Life, 1914-11-12

What you’re looking at

This page contains **two distinct pieces**: a satirical editorial and period advertisements. ## "A Reform in Holidays" Editorial The satire advocates rationalizing America's holiday system by consolidating all celebrations into a single first Saturday each month. Rather than scattered holidays disrupting business, this proposal would allow systematic, advance planning. The example given—celebrating Lincoln's birthday on the *nearest* Saturday rather than February 12—exemplifies this efficiency-obsessed logic. This reflects early 20th-century **Progressive Era** thinking, which sought to apply scientific management to all aspects of society. The satire gently mocks this impulse by taking it to an absurd extreme: treating beloved national commemorations as mere administrative inconveniences. ## Narrative Excerpt: "Made in America" A story fragment depicts a child reciting tales of Rockefeller wealth and industrial power to his father, claiming a Baptist Sunday-school teacher as his source. The irony is biting: religious instruction has become a vehicle for celebrating American industrial titans and their violent suppression of labor unrest. ## Advertisements The remaining space features patent medicine ads (Buffalo Lithia Springs Water, horse shoeing nails)—typical period advertising making dubious health claims.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EERE A Reform in Holidays aye a great many people the average holiday is a nuisance. It is usually injected with terrific force into the midst of our busiest season; it upsets all of our plans, In every other way the world is becoming scientifically managed; we are reducing everything else to a system; only the holidays lag behind. Holidays should come regu- larly and not haphazard, as they do at present. Why not set aside the first Saturday of every month and let this day be used regularly to dispose of the all-accumulated holiday spirit of the countrv? On these days we can celebrate those anniversaries which come nearest in point of time. (For example.) Instead of celebrating Lincoln's birthday on the twelfth of Fi truary, let us celebrate it on the Saturday nearest to it. We shall then be able to arr-nge matters ahead, methodically and systematically, as they should be. Business and c:her affairs will not be disturbed. “Made in America” (Continued from page 862.) the people who owned Colorado with him, and they call them by an awfully funny name—operators— well, they were all kind and good and benevolent, and you can im- egine how they felt when they heard atout the war. You see, these hor- rid foreigners had actually begun to fight, and Johnnie Rockefeller’s militia had to stop it—although they just hated to do it, and kill anybody—and the good, kind playmates hated it, too, and the President felt so bad that he tried to stop it. But, of course, Johnnie wouldn’t let him interfere. Would you, papa, if you owned a State and some one wanted to do that?” “Of course not. But. Harold, we must cut this fairy story short now, absorbing as it is, for I hear your mother’s gentle footsteps approaching. By the way, where did you learn all this?” “From my Sunday-school teacher, father. He's been visiting us from the Baptist Church. He's great!” Tone up your kidneys and get out of your system all the poisonous products of faulty metabolism which have naturally resulted from a sedentary life. If you suffer from kidney or bladder trouble, strike at the root of the evil by drinking freely of BUFFALO LITHIA SPRINGS WATER The pressure of business need not be interrupted while you are making yourself “ fit” again. Buffalo Lithia Springs Water offers the conclusive evi- dence of thousands of complete cures. For y and years it has been the standard correc! for many ills— particularly of the digestive and eliminative organs. Hun- dreds of eminent physicians (many of them standing at the head of medical profession) have endorsed Buffalo Lithia Springs Water and prescribed its use for the cure of the disorders mentioned. HUNTER McGUIRE, M.D., LL.D., late President Amer- ican Medical Association, said: “I know from constant use of it personally and in practice that the results obtained from its use are far beyond those which would be warranted by the analysis given, I am of the opinion that it either contains some wonderful remedial agent as yet undiscovered by medical science, or its elements are so delicately combined in Nature's laboratory that they defy the utmost skill of the chemist to solve the secret of their power.” Write jor little book, ‘* Springs of Health” WHEN YOUR HORSE IS SHOD examine the nails, Note the brand and size. A No. 6 “Capewell” usually holds as well as a 7 of 8 of other brands. Small nails are safest. They break down le hoot tae and ae Ben oa mr fa] aealyworhyourw bie (aa july =o epee your horses, en I Buffalo Lithia Springs Water Company Baffalo Lithia Springs, Virginia comicbooks.com