Life — November 12, 1914 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Letters To Editor “Life Satire” who prefer doctor best when giving absent treatment, R SIR:— D My affectionate school friend Hon. Frank Mutomoto, who owe me 10$ as well as other complications, collapsed down other day with fevered candition of the hypothesis and med- ical terms, I could not afford to lose such val. companionship so I send for Hon. Dr C. P. Itchi, considerable celebrated medicated Japanese. “Um!” he say interestly in Tokyo language, “he are a beautiful case of Italian measels. How sorry I are to abandon him!” “Can he not be cured up?” I ask to know, “Easily,” negotiate Hon. Dr Itchi, “but I can only practice medicine in next State. Therefore it would not be ethical. And Hon. Med Authorities does not permit Italian measels to be moved from states to states. This would equally not be ethical.” “Maybe it would be most hon- orable for Frank to die?” I negotiate, “Undoubtlessly,” arrogate — Hon. Doc. “This are most frequently did in such cases. Howeverly, if you will wait until next meeting of State Medicine Board perhapsly they will give me license so I can cure poor Frank friend.” “When shall that Hon. Board meet together?” I ask it. “Next January,” snuggest him, “Tam fearful Hon Frank would not keep so long,” I sorry. “3$ please,” report Hon. Dr Itchi while making goodbye with head- waiter expression. In meanwhiles Hon. Frank Muto- moto enjoy considerable grones & peev exclamming, “If you are going to do nothing why don’t you?” I think up another Hon. Dr name of Skullkins who reside in’ nearby. I make alarmed telephone to come with immediate quickness. ‘While I i a of a Japanese School-boy — Medical Ethics “So he also depart away” was talking income Arthur Kickaha- . jama, missionary boy, who hear what said. “Ol” narrate Arthur, “in case of Italian measels Jewish doctors is most talented. Therefore we must call in Dr. Rosenheim, talented curer next block.” Arthur Kickahajama make more jing-ling to telephone and demand Dr Rosenheim arrive there before death. Pretty soonly both Hon. Doctors en- croach inwards together. They seem quite courtesy while talking to each other but less so when addressing to us. “Where is patient?” require those intellects. “In other room being so,” I, say it. “Being what?” they require gruffly. “Patient,” I snuggest. Hon. Dr Skullkins make lordship bow to Hon. Dr Rosenheim, “What do you think, Doctor?” he ask it. . “We should hold a consultation, Doctor,” depose other. “Get outwards, please,” hissy Hon. Dr Rosenheim at me. Kickahajama. So we depart. to hall- ways where we could’ see those great medicines setting’ together’ amidst cigars while talking very respectiv Pretty soonly they come out to hall- way together. “So sorry. We cannot take case,” they inform chivalrously, “Why so couldn't?” I opulate for frights because poor Frank were mak- ing, whistling noises. “We are both specialists,” notate Dr Rosenheim. “Therefore we could not accept jobs of sickness unless called in by another Dr.” “It would not be ethical,” snuggest Dr Skullkins. “Cannot you murder ethi sionally to save patients?” I nervely, “Sometimes when patient are very rich,” he romp. “But when’ poor we are deliciously jealous of our medical honors. Our bills will be left under door on 1st of month. Fareby.” This look entirely «diseased for Hon. Frank Mutomoto who now lay back amidst bedding seeming nearly fin- ished. At this junction my cousin Nogi make arrival to room and say considerable alarm. “You should attain a Doctor with quick haste!” he decrop. “Nearly all I know are sick with ethics and cannot work,” I deprave dejectly. “ Howeverly, maybe you can dishcover one. Arthur give jing to telephone and require Dr Windluss come hither. This gentleman arrive with rev. beard. He look see Frank and seem quite hope. I know serum what Italian measels in % hour,” nounce distinctually. “O banzai!” yellup me & Arthur and Cousin Nogi together like chorus girls. “Young interne of Mt Cyanide Hospital have invented this drug and Also at Arthar occa ask will cure he pro-; comicbooks.com