Life, 1914-11-05 · page 8 of 48
Life — November 5, 1914 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes a Thanksgiving proclamation ostensibly from the U.S. President. The central illustration shows two gnome-like figures atop a large globe/world decorated with harvest foods, suggesting global abundance being carved up. The proclamation uses the traditional "WHEREAS" legal format but subverts it with darkly humorous lines about WWI hardships: Atlantic "rages," Kaiser Bill, Belgian troubles, Parisian status, gun manufacturing, lost luggage along the Rhine, and German military threats. Each complaint is followed by "FOR THAT:" — a prayer of gratitude despite these war-related miseries. The bottom cartoon shows someone carving a turkey, captioned as "a bachelor called on to carve a turkey for the first time." The page satirizes American pretensions to gratitude amid WWI chaos and personal wartime frustrations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
792 A Thanksgiving Proclamation HEREAS to-day is the Date ap- pointed by His cellency, THF THE UNITED PRESIDENT OF STATES OF america, for all Good Americans to render thanks unto the surkEME Gov- eRNoR of all our Ways, therefore he it Resolved, That in a spirit of Pro- found Reverence, and with a Deep Sense of Gratitude, I do hereby render up said Thanks to the E COVERNOR, as ordered by the id PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, on said Date, said FOR THAT! The broad Atlantic rages still 'Twixt me and seething Kaiser Bill FOR THAT: Despite the troubles dire that come I do not dwell in Belgium. FOR THAT: 'Twas not a part of ure’s plan ke me a Parisian. FOR THAT: T was not Lorn to make a lunch For guns to save the Kaiser bunch, FOR THAT: No luggage, bag. or wife of mine Is lost somewhere along the Rhine, AS IT SEEMED TO A BACHELOR CALLED ON TO CARVE A TURKEY FOR THE FIRST TIME FIDDLEDEWIN KS. POR THAT? Nobody's ever asked me ye To join the British Cabinet. FOR THAT: No Zeppclin across the sea Can drop confetti onto me, FOR THAT: T have no question to determine Tf I shall dance or fight the German. FOR THAT! No overwhelming Army Corps Is raising thunder at my door. FOR THAT: No bomb from out the Heavens high Can fall into my punkin-pie. FOR THAT: My only war-cloud dark and murky Is knocking stuffing out of Turkey. FOR THAT: In short, my days and years increase In sunny paths of joyous peace, Where only blessings mobilize I lift in gratitude my eyes To Him who's made me what I am: A Son of Good Old Uncle Sam! John Kendrick Bangs. comicbooks.com