Life, 1914-11-05 · page 34 of 48
Life — November 5, 1914 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical items typical of *Life* magazine's humor section: **"Why He Objected"**: A school joke where a boy objects to war because "wars make history, an' I jest hate history"—satirizing student apathy toward both war and education. **"In Case of Sickness"**: A German-dialect joke about wartime rationing, where someone preserved sauerkraut "fife barrels" as medicine during hard times—mocking both immigrant speech patterns and desperate Depression-era resourcefulness. **"Mother Goose for the Higher Intellectuals"**: Parodies the nursery rhyme "Old Mother Hubbard" in deliberately overwrought, pseudo-intellectual language ("ossified matter," "necessitous mongrel"), satirizing academic pretension. **The cartoon** ("Nightmare of a Greedy Little Boy") depicts a child's nightmare after overeating—straightforward cautionary humor. The page is primarily **advertising** (E. La Montagne's Sons liquor distributor), with the satirical content serving as filler.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
=sAUT SCISSORS AvT NULLUS Why He Objected “Now,” said the principal to one of the pupils at the close of the lesson in which he had touched on the horrors of war, “do you object to war, my boy?” “Yes, sir, I answer. “ Now tell us why.” “Because,” said the youth, “ wars make history, an’ I jest hate history.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. do,” was the fervent In Case of Sickness “Have you put up any sauerkraut this fall, Schmidt?” Mother Goose for the Higher Intellectuals The Hubbard Canine. Ancient maternal ancestor Hubbard Proceeded to the hither all-yielding cup- board To procure for her canine a portion of ossified matter ; But when she reached her destination, She found no trace of marrowed ra- tion, in consequence the necessitous mongrel received an empty plat- ter. And A Song Mélange. Utter melodious sounds elucidating a musical composition anent the English sixpence; A pocket filled to capacity with hardy cereal; And two full dozen aves of ebon hue confined in a pastry imperial! When said pastry was disintegrated The vertebrate aves began the rendition “Times was so hardt because of the war that I only put oop fife barrels in. case of sickness.” —Philadelphia Ledger. GIVIN Lire is published every Thursday Canada and British Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, $2 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents, Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The text and illustrations in Lire, are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great imultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, NIGHTMARE OF A GREEDY LITTLE BOY AFTER A LARGE THANKS- of a lyric selection; Was not that a delectable concoction to display for the royal inspection? DINNER —Town Topics. Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book- gellers in all the principat cities of the world. | The foreign trade, supplied from Lirr’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire. does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unso- licited contributions. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Britain apply to Lure, 114 Southampton Row, London, W. There is no scarcity of BARTON & GUESTIER OLIVE OIL, €LARETS and SAUTERNES, GORDON GINS, SANDEMAN’S PORT and SHERRY. Advertisements and statements to the contrary are misleading. Reference to the price lists of leading houses will convince consumers that they are protected. Many thousands of cases are stored for continued protection. E. LA MONTAGNE’S SONS CHICAGO NEW YORK NEW ORLEANS comicbooks.com