Life — October 29, 1914 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ERE * W and Double U “Spell your name!" said the court clerk sharply. The witness began: “O, double 7, I, double U, E, double I, double—” “Wait!” ordered the clerk; “begin again!” The witness repeated: “O, double T. I, double U, E, double L, double U, double O—” “Your Honor!” roared the clerk, “I beg that this man be committed for contempt of court!” “What is your name?” asked the Judge. “My name, Your Honor, is Otti- well Wood, and I spell it O, double T, I, double U, E, double L, double U, double O, D. —Ladies’ Home Journal. Comprehensive Ignorance Two Irishmen were philosophizing. Said Pat to Mike: “Did yez iver shtop to think that wan half of the world don't know how the other half gets along?” “You're right,” says Mike, neither does the other half.” —New York Post. Hard to Recognise “ Poverty is a blessing in disguise,” quoted the Sage. “Well,” replied the Fool, disguise is certainly effective.’ —Cincinnati Enquirer, “the American Refugee: As It Might Be A certain people were much given to deploring war. insisting, was poor business. Their King heard them, but he didn’t take them seriously. The very first chance he got he picked a quarrel with a neighboring Power, and, that done, he lifted up his voice in the old way. “The fatherland is in danger!" he cried. nation is assailed! My children, be patriots!” But they couldn’t sce him. “Not on your life!” they made answer. “You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you can not fool all the people all the time!” Whereupon the King made haste to patch up his quarrel and was very careful forever after not to pick another. This fable teaches that we have still some distance to go before universal peace can be anything but a joke—New York Evening Post. Many Kinds of Hard Work “T want you to understand,” said young Spender, “that I got my money by hard work.” “Why, I thought it was left to you by your rich uncle.” “So it was, but I had hard work to get it away from the lawyers.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. War, they kept “The honor of the Witte: Paw, why is the way of the transgressor hard? Paw: Because so many people have tramped on it, my son. —Cincinnati Enquirer. Buttons: The hotel's afire! Scottish Gextieman: Richt, lad- die; but if I do, mind ye, I'll no pay for the bed.—Answers. Get up! Get up! HOME, JAMES! Lirz is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. '$s.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, g2 cents, Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print, The text and illustrations in Lire ore copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, 114 Southamptom Row, London, W. Live. is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from bo sellers in all the principal cities of the world. The foreign trade supplied from Lirt’s London Office, Kolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contribution twill be returned unless accompanied’ by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unix licited contributions. 3 Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. “he Utmost in Cigarettes” Every Day—1,400 Quarts of Holstein Cows’ Milk are delivered to the National Home for Disabled Volua- teer Soldiers at Sawtelle, Cal. The Wisconsin School for the Deaf at Delavan, Wis, provides no other milk bst that from Holstein cows for its inmates. The Westboro Insane Hospital at Westboro, Mass., produces 1,909 quarts of Holstein milk per day in its own dairies for the use of its patients. In the Wooderoft School for Feeble-Minded Children at Pueblo, Colo, Holstein Milk, is the only kind that is used. The City Hospital and the Home for Friendless Children in Wilkes-Barre, Pa. are both supplied with Holstein Milk exclusively ¢ Walker Gordon Milk Laboratories are recog: by the medical profession as the leading. source from which to secure reliable milk for the scientific feeding of infants and invalids. They are strong endorsers of the value of Holstein milk for infants and children. This general recognition of a special value in Holsteis, cows’ milk carries its own convincing message. Inves tigate the milk of these black-and-white cows. ‘Send for our booklet, The Story of Holstein Milk,” for further information’ HOLSTEIN-FRIESIAN ASSOCIATION Brattle! 3-X American Building boro, Vt. comicbooks.com