Life, 1914-09-17 · page 39 of 48
Life — September 17, 1914 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine (pre-1923, thus public domain) contains two distinct items: **"A War Without a Name"** (left): A satirical list suggesting names for World War I, which at the time of publication had no settled designation. The humor lies in the absurd proliferation of proposed titles—each reflecting different perspectives on the conflict's scope and nature. The implication is that the war's unprecedented scale defies simple naming. **"Letters of a Japanese School-boy: Civilized Warfare"** (center): A satirical column by Wallace Irwin featuring broken English dialogue between a Japanese character and a European editor. The satire targets the contradiction between claims of "civilization" and modern warfare's mechanized brutality—soldiers "mowed down by patent harvesters," cities burned by gasoline, Red Cross nurses killed by dynamite. The joke exposes how industrial technology has made war simultaneously more efficient and more horrific, undermining pretenses of civilized conduct. Both pieces critique World War I's unprecedented scale and mechanized violence as fundamentally uncivilized, despite claims otherwise.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE: A War without a Name 'OLLOWING are some suggestions for names for the war in Europe, so gigantic that no name appears as yet big enough to cover it: The European War. The War of 1914. The War of the Triple Entente. Emperor William's War. The Slav-Teuton War. The World War. The War of the Nations. The Anglo-Franco-Russian-German War. The War of the European Powers. The Great Conflict. The War. The Last War. Ale Stout ENOUGH SAID Letters of a Japanese School-boy Civilized Warfare (Continued from page 492.) less,” I agnosticate. “ Perhapsly science have done considerable to make widows & orphans less hungry when starved?” “Little if nothing have been accom- plished in that direction,” Hon. Kamo describe. “While Professors is busy thinking how to make death they can- not be expected to bother busy brains about small things like life.” I stand gast for this phenomenal. “Germany, land of cultivature & in- tellectual,” resum on this Mackenzcki man, “are teaching world how refined it has become since cave-man ages. Soldiers are now mowed down by patent harvesters, cities are burned down by gasoline, Red Cross nurses killed by dynamite—everything scienti- fic, Even international laws are broke intellectually, for when Uhlan cavalry fires on wounded prisoners Hon. Kaiser employs corporation lawyers to prove that God is merely destroying France to punish Servia for her crimes.” “Tam Samurai,” I reproof, “ there- fore I cannot understand why war is hellish. Bugle toot, sword scrape, for- ward blazes, booms, discharge & bleed- shad are proper sports for all men who are not suffragettes. Glory is consid- erable fun and it are very useful act for patriots to get heads shot out under the right flag.” “Which you consider right flag in this war?” inquest that Japanese editor. “Russian, Prussian, Belgian, French, English, Danish, Spanish, Cuban, Sub- urban, Montenegrin, Persian and all other dry-goods which are carried into these fights on top of sticks.” This from me. “Tf they are on two sides they cannot all be fighting for Truth,” he renig hottily. “Yes can!” I snagger. “All sides are carrying the Truth, but they are carrying it in opposite directions.” “T do not wish see men die by bul- lets,” he say furthermore. “Why shouldn't?” I acknowledge. “Man can only die once.” “Yes,” he interrogate. “But when they all try to do it at same time it seem too considerable.” “You cannot stop war by conversa- tion,” I dib reproachly. “ Before long- time everybody will be dragged into it.” “Everybody including God,” narrate Hon, Kamo Mackenzcki with eagle ex- pression peculiar to Mr & Mrs Hohen- zollern. Therefore I am without hope. Hoping you are the same Yours truly Hasutatura Toco. (Per Wallace Irwin.) eep the ‘Punch’ He aoe asolene = A Bowser Under- ground Outfit keeps the *‘punch”’ of your in gaso- lene. Keeps out dust, dirt and fire. Snes floorspace. Delivers exact predetermined quan- tities of gasolene any distance into the car at a singlestroke. Prevents leakage spillage thelt. Adds to the economy and efficiency of your car and garage. Oil Storage Systems Cost sv0n saved in oil and power. Ride on “‘Bowserized’’ gasolene and note the stronger pall: the quicker action—the added mileage. ‘hink also of the utter safety of your garage and the added convenience. Also in Stores, Factories and Railroads Save oil, time and money here also, No waste. “loafing” at the oil barrel, No lost oil. No lost mot Just speed, economy, efficiency. ‘Write today regarding the particular Bowser system for your garage, store or factory. Use the coupon, To Dealers We can now make dealers an attractive Prope osition to handle our Private Garage Line. No stock to carry. Write today fur details. S.F. Bowser & Co., Inc. 211 Thomas Street Fort Wayne, Indiana, U. S. Canadian Factory, 316 Frazer Avenue, COUPON S.F. BOWSER & CO, Inc., 211 Thomas St., Fort Wayne, Ind. ‘nse or obligation on my part send me ding a Bowser Oil Storage System as ad- "tor the purpose indicated with an (X) () Private Garage ( ) Power Plant *( ) Manufacturing () Poblic Garage ( ) Dry Cleaners +( ) Stores ‘STATE wuaT yoo wamuractune, tom suit Name. StreetNo.. Town. comicbhooks