Life, 1914-09-10 · page 34 of 48
Life — September 10, 1914 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical short pieces typical of Life's humor: **"Forewarned"**: A domestic joke about Mr. Bachrack purchasing shoes for his wife. The humor lies in his literal interpretation—when told shoes shouldn't "button in the back," he misunderstands the instruction as a practical specification rather than recognizing it as nonsensical advice. The satire targets husbandly confusion about women's fashion requirements. **"No Harm Done"**: Mocks a young hostess performing Wagner who stops mid-piece after striking a false note. A guest reassures her that "nobody but Wagner would know," implying Wagner is dead and thus unavailable to judge. The joke ridicules both pretentious musical performance and the assumption that only the composer would notice errors. **Visual content**: The page includes decorative illustrations and a champagne advertisement (Louis Roederer), typical of Life's mixed editorial-advertising format. The "Epitaph of an Infant" appears to be serious poetry rather than satire, contrasting with the humorous pieces surrounding it.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Epitaph of an Infant Many zons did I wait For admission to the Gate Of the Living. But to see F ‘ed Much was not vouchsafed to me orewam: In my little term and span. Mr. Bachrack is a most considerate I, that hoped to be a man, husband, but of course there is a limit. Like a snowflake incarnated, Upon leaving home one morning, his Hl Seem for three days’ light created . . . wife requested him to purchase for her Two Eyes saw I, and the Sun, a pair of shoes, giving him a detailed /W > And gold spires of Babylon; description of the same. ( 2 But, while voices I forget Promptly on his luncheon hour Mr. re Called from cloud and minarct Bachrack proceeded to the shoe emporium. \ Men to wake, I stood once more “T want a pair of button shoes for > \ With the dreams outside the Door. my wife,” he announced, as the clerk Hf —Herbert Trench, in Reedy’s Mirror. came forward, “What kind do you wish?” e hy “Doesn't matter—just so as they don't : = Y ~ No Harm Done button in the back.”"—Harper’s Magazine. = Her friends had asked their young hostess to play for them, and she was performing a difficult selection from Wagner. In the midst of it she suddenly stopped in confusion. “What's the matter?” asked one of the visitors. Two business men were lunching in Fifth Avenue when an old graybeard stumped by. “ That's Brown. He works for me,” said the first business man. “ He's an honest-looking chap. Has he got staying powers?” asked the second “I—I struck a false note,” faltered the business man, performer. “He has that,” said the first. “He - : “Well, what of it?" cried another began at the bottom of the ladder in guest. “Go ahead. Nobody but Wagner '76, and he’s stayed there ever since.” would ever know it, and he's dead.” —Argonaut. IN For LIFE —Leadies’ Home Journal. “LIE ls published every Thursday, slepettancously in the United States, Great Briain, Sasa ard Desh a? le by all newndealers in Great Dritsin and may be obtained trom booksellers In all the_ principal 0 a year ia advances" ‘Additional postage to foreign coutriy inthe Foyt U 1.04a year; cities of the world. The foreign trade supplied trom Live's Londen Office, Rolls House, Breams Bsiidin Camda, %2 cent, "Sanyle carvent copies, 10 cease lack tumbers ater ree bosihe trom date of paises: Lenton, ESC. . an 2 sai 3 cea Ieoes prir to U0 ot ope The text and dibustrations im LAYS are copyrighted, For Reprint Rights in Great Britain appy to Lire Ne contribution wilt be returned atest accompanied by stamped ant addressed envelope, Live dees mot 14 Sonthampton Rew, Ald tse reaponstble for the lot or womreturn of wnssticied contr ution CARTE BLANCHE Sweet CHAMPAGNE LOUIS ROEDERER REIMS FRANCE NERY NERS 1 ~ RSet Agents: E. G. MURPHY CO., Inc. Filth Avenue, New Yor! E. Cor, a2nd Street)