Life, 1914-09-03 · page 37 of 48
Life — September 3, 1914 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of satire: **"Golf" Section (Left):** A humorous compilation of Shakespeare quotations recontextualized as golf commentary. Lines about "holes," "strokes," "balls," and "clubs" from various plays are presented as if discussing the sport, exploiting the double meanings in Shakespeare's language. **"When You Come Home" (Center/Right):** A Pyrene Fire Extinguisher advertisement disguised as satirical commentary. The image shows a family narrowly avoiding house fire disaster. The accompanying text praises their preparedness while subtly mocking middle-class anxiety about home safety risks. **"One More Failure" (Bottom):** Satire on government taxation policy. It describes an absurd failed experiment: officials proposed taxing *both* parties in automobile accidents (hit-and-run driver *and* victim) to capitalize on accidents. The plan backfired—people avoided accidents to escape taxes, reducing revenue, forcing the government to seek new funding schemes. This mocks legislative overreach and the perverse incentives created by poorly designed policy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Golf: According to Shakespeare URSED be the hand that made these fatal holes!—Richard /11. What subtle hole is this, whose mouth is covered with rude-growing briers?—Titus Andronicus. In your bad strokes, Brutus, you give good words,—Julius Caesar. I'll see what hole is here. —Titus Andronicus. Swearing till my very roof was dry. —Merchant of Venice. Here's that shall drive some of them to a noncome. —Much Ado About Nothing. He must needs go that the devil drives.—All’s Well That Ends Well. Put up your iron.—Twelfth Night. He knows the game. How true he keeps the wind.—Henry V1. We have done our course; there's money for your pains.—Othello. By thy approach thou makest me most unhappy. —Two Gentlemen of Verona. Why, these balls bound! —AIls Well That Ends Well. He is not so big as the end of his club—Love’s Labour Lost, ar, But make you ready your stiff bats and clubs—Coriolanus. a] ‘THE first news compels a shudder. Vl call for clubs—Henry VI. Your home has been visited by Jire, that terrible destroyer that so often leaves everlasting sorrows. = The thought of what might have happened, is followed by a a LI STERINE deep gratitude for what did happen, because the Pyrene Fire Extinguisher, which you placed on the wall within easy reach, Use it every day put Scientific readiness between your dearest possessions and ; possible disaster. 0. [ee Baca TN Gena PYRENE MANUFACTURING CO., 1358 Broadway, N. Y. is almost a specific for Brass and Nickel-plated Pyrene Fire Extingoisbe fncladed ta the lists of A, Ge diluted ipecific the National Boerd of Fire Codereriters, extained and Labeled eader the drccion ol he cde mae Lake ia ||" a | i |) -| This is but one of the many uses for innati Fargo. N.D. Otlahoma City § y St. Louis Listerinein the range of personal hygiene. Brid [tezsenzile Philadel Philadelphia“ St. Pau! Useit as a mouth-wash, for relieving cuts wuia ville i sh Lake City is 4 in, and burns and skin affections, soot Chatlerten.W.Va. Detroit Rikeosd Yate Jismeter? the itch of insect bites, etc. ' Listerine Birmingham Cceee neta i BG ACIFIC COA 1BUT . possess its safe, non-poisonous, antiseptic Distributors for Great Britain + 19-21 Great Queen St., London, W. C. 4 properties. aut a One More Failure HE number of automobile accidents having increased enormously, it was thought T by some of the ablest minds that they should be duly capitalized. One, brighter than the rest, who had not been in either Congress or the Senate, suggested that a government tax should be placed upon both parties to an accident—namely, the one who did the running over, and the one run over, This was agrecd to, The result, however, was unfortunate. People were quite willing to lose their lives through carelessness, but to pay a tax was more than unpleasant. Thus it came about that automobile accidents decreased so alarmingly that the government was reluctantly compelled to adopt new measures to raise enough money to maintain its representatives in oratorical ease. comichooks.qeoln)