Life, 1914-08-27 · page 10 of 44
Life — August 27, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine contains satirical commentary on various social types and professions. The main cartoons and text include: **"Humane War"** - A poem mocking the contradiction between claiming to provide medical care for wounded soldiers while still sending them back to fight. **"The Worst People"** - Definitions satirizing various professions: Historians who write fiction, Railroad Directors who deliberately make railroads unprofitable, and Suburbanites who frequent city entertainments while wearing silk hats (marking pretension). **The Mouse cartoon** - Shows a mouse exclaiming "Tee-hee! She doesn't know I am a vegetarian," apparently satirizing either deception or absurdist humor about the mouse's dietary claims. The page uses biting wit to critique institutional hypocrisy, corporate malfeasance, and social pretension—hallmarks of early 20th-century American satirical humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
REE Humane War Y wounded soldier! I have brought you all The surgical and sanitary wares That institutes endowed by millionaires Have wrought to cure you of the cruel ball. See, here are nurses, tender as a wife, But wise in bandages and temperature, And ice, and antiseptics for your cure; No effort is too great to save your life! seer The bullet's purpose has been foiled, my brother; You're well! Now, hang you, go and get another! Juliet Wilbor Tompkins. The Worst People (With Apologies to E. S. M.) ISTORIANS: A historian is a man whose occupa- tion is to write fiction without using as much imagi- nation as a poet, or as little art as a statistician. Historians are increasing to an alarming extent. It is stated that unless they are deported they will soon be as numerous as the psychologists—a truly alarming outlook. Railroad Directors: Railroad directors meet once a month or so for the purpose of receiving for attendance cach one a twenty-dollar gold piece. Most people nowa- days feel that they are overpaid. These gentlemen exist for the purpose of plunging railroads into debt, making the passengers as uncomfortable as possible, and the road The Mouse: Tee-1¥e! SHE DOESN'T KNOW I AM A VEGETARIAN MIDSUMMER MADNESS as unsafe as expedient, until the “ psychological” moment, when the road is put into the hands of the receiver. They then retire gracefully, invest their profits in real estate, and receive the flowers and thanks of the Attorney- General. Suburbanites: A class of people who insist upon sitting in city restaurants and theatres at night and encouraging orchestras. They can be seen mowing their lawns in the broad daylight, putting tires on their autos, and occa- sionally—although now much more rarely than of yore— wheeling baby-carriages on principal avenues, while wear- ing silk hats. At one time there were women suburbanites, but these have now been practically all absorbed by the sufffagette party. To point out how bad are suburbanites it is only necessary to state that without them cities could not be maintained. Highbrows: There are four kinds of highbrows—in- cipient, amateur, professional and religious. Most high- brows are satisfied to believe they are superior to others, but the religious highbrow wants to convert others to be like himself. Highbrows depend upon their accumulated ignorance, Thus they have a perpetual fund to draw upon,