Life, 1914-08-20 · page 32 of 40
Life — August 20, 1914 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This poem parodies the 19th-century sentimental poem "Maud Muller" by updating it for the automobile age. The original told of a judge and country girl's chance meeting; this version satirizes the early motor car's unreliability. The humor centers on the automobile's mechanical failure: a supposedly superior judge arrives in a gasoline-powered car and brags about its performance and mileage—typical boasting by early car owners. He invites the maiden for a ride, but then spends the entire evening attempting to hand-crank the engine to start it, cranking "till after the sun had set," with "chances are he is cranking still." The satire mocks both the car's notorious difficulty to start and the pretentious bragging of early motorists. The woman's story ends worse than the original poem—no romantic outcome, just tedious mechanical frustration. The poem concludes that "the auto crank is about the worst" of modern devices, a relatable complaint for readers struggling with temperamental early automobiles requiring manual cranking to start.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Maude Muller Up to Date Maude Muller, on a summer's day, Raked the meadows sweet with hay. And as she raked, in the carly morn, She heard the honk of a Claxton horn. ‘Anon there drifted on the scene A car, propelled by gasoline. The Judge rode up in his motor-car And said to Maude: “Ah, there you ar He killed his engine, in the shade Of the apple tree, to chin the maid. He spoke of the mileage on his tires, As is the way of all good liars. He said his car was quite the best And had the edge on all the rest. He invited Maude to take a ride, And, nothing loath, she jumped inside. The Judge, from a purling brooklet drank, And forthwith started in to crank He cranked and cranked till his arm was sore, Then started in and cranked some more. He cranked and cranked till he reeked with sweat, And cranked till after the sun had set. He cranked away with a right good will, And the chances are he is cranking still. And of all devices with which we're cursed, The auto crank is about the worst. —Woman's National Weekly. ce 99 Horse Capewell Nails are half again as strong as any other brand. Smaller sizes, therefore, will hold a shoe securely. Big nails break down too | much tissue, which tends to weaken | the hoof. Ask your shoer to use ‘Capeweil” nails. On the market many years. They lead. CHAUFFEURS-OWNERS-BEGINNERS fora FREE ya) copyot w Instroctive, Technical Auto Magazine, Gal conisine 0 illustrated passe of valuable informatio THE AMERICAN CHAUFFEUR, 619 Butler Bd, Cincinnati, SEASHORE ESTATE FOR SALE One of the most picturesque estates in New England, located 50 minutes from Boston, on North Shore overlooking ocean. About 100 acres; splen- did trees; historic house of 15 rooms, modernized; also two cottages. Price $30,000; convenient terms. No agents. Address, A. A. B., 48 Cutting Street, Winchester, Mass. EGYPTIAN DEITIES Plain End or Cork Tip A Proud Boast A teachers’ meeting was in progress, and it was decided that the more difficult subjects should come in the morning and those that required less application later in the day. History was last on the list, and Miss Wheeler, the young teacher, protested. “But it certainly is casier than science or mathematics,” the principal insisted. As I teach it,” replied the young teacher, “no subject could be more diffi- cult and confusing."—Lippincott’s, A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Frit es an ppetizing tonle. Sample of bitters by mall, G, W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Do you really believe the pen than the sword? Well, you never saw anybody sign a check with a sword, did you? Livingston Lance. Comfort Without Extravagance Hotel Woodstock, New York Shall we talk or dance? ic: I'm very tired. Let us dance.—Boston Transcript. Jack Explains “You see the motor had too much oil. When s! got heated up we smoked like a volcano. If Joe hadn't been close behind with his little wire rope we would still be playing Vesuvius.” Basline Autowline “The Little Steel Rope With The Big Pull” has turned many an uncomfortable wait into a safe and “tow home” insurance. Makes ting there” when nothing else will. About 25 feet, ‘Yellow Strand wire rope. Far better than a bulky manila rope. Weighs less and takes less room. All supply dealers have it. Price, cast of Rocky Mountains, $3.95. FREE: Mlustrated Autowline circular. Write for it. Broderick & Bascom Rope Co. 800 N. fod Street, Mt. Lente, He, New York Offira, 160, Warren Street “Mannfacturers of famous Yellow Strand Wire Rope PAT! WOULD YEZ FALL HIS RIV'RINCE?"” oN