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Life, 1914-08-13 · page 32 of 40

Life — August 13, 1914 — page 32: what you’re looking at

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Life — August 13, 1914 — page 32: Life, 1914-08-13

What you’re looking at

This poem satirizes romantic nostalgia for the past. A woman admires an old grandfather clock, imagining it witnessed centuries of genteel romance—ladies in corsets, dashing suitors, passionate moments in manor halls. The joke's punchline: the clock was manufactured last week. The satire targets early 20th-century sentimentality about "authentic" antiques. People desired objects they believed carried historical weight and romantic history. The poem mocks this desire by revealing the supposed heirloom is mass-produced modernity masquerading as antiquity—a common deception (and joke) of the era when reproduction "antiques" flooded the market. The accompanying cartoons are unrelated advertisements and humor pieces typical of *Life* magazine's format, including ads for Rameses cigarettes and Capewell horseshoe nails.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Antique—Up-to-Date She gazed at the tall old clock on the stair, "Twas a relic of days long fled; A costly timepiece, a treasure rare, But lately purchased and placed up there, “A quaint old gem!” she said. “Did you stand in some old manor hall, Where the firclight flickered red On polished floor and on carven wall, Where fell the shadows of ladies tall And straightly stiff?” she said. “Did, you look, perchance, on a win- some maid— Alas, a century dead, Softly demure and sweetly staid, In a tortoise-shell comb and a gay bro- cade With a very short waist?” she said. “Did you see her lover, a comely swain, A-bending his stately head To touch her lips and to touch again Till her fair cheek warmed with a crim- son stain? ©, quaint old gem!” she said. “Ab, the wondrous pictures seen by you In the days so long since fied! But the tall old clock fetched a grin to view; “T wonder what she would say if she knew I was made last weck?” it said —London Globe. Comfort Without Extravagance Hotel Woodstock, New York Hopeful Bacon: I gave my wife a rainbow kiss when I left home this morning. Ecuert: What in the world is a rain- bow ki: Bacon: One that follows a storm, —Yonkers Statesman, The Aristocrat of Cigarettes ] AY ey | RAMESES Largest Selling 20c Cigarette A Dual Personality The President was talking about a statesman who was annoying him with a proposition he could inot consider: “The trouble with him,” he said, “is that he seems to be half gentleman and half mule.” He paused and looked out of his office window at a magnolia tree in bloom on the White House lawn, “Tt is very difficult,” Mr. Wilson con- tinued, “to treat the mule half with the consideration demanded by the gentle- man half."—Saturday Evening Post. Tink of hearing central ask: “ What can the insignificant one do to serve the exalted master?” Well, that’s “ What number, please?” over in Peking. —IWoman’s Home Companion. Wine Jel: more delightful and healthful. Sample of bit 2 cta, in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co,, Baltimore, Md. when flavored with Abbott's Bitters is itters. “Your husband, madam, is suffering from voluntary inertia.” “Poor fellow! And here I've been telling him he’s just lazy.” —Baltimore American. made by mail, SAFETY IN HORSESHOEING If a nail splits on entering a hoof, or even crimps, there's danger of serious injury. “Capewell” tans NAILS neither split nor crimp. Not chea d est regardless of quality, but the best nail at a fair price. On the market for more than a quarter century. ON HIS OWN HOOK comicbooks.com