Life — August 6, 1914 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

236 Bip h ARLE — Lg a A Pertinent Question With the boundless enthusiasm of his kind, the food faddist harangued the mob on the marvelous results to be ob- tained from chewing soap and cating nut butter. “ Friends,” he cried, swelling visibly and clapping his chest, “two years ago I was a walking skeleton—a haggard, able wreck. What do you suppose brought about this great change in me?” He paused to sce the effect of his words. Then a voice rose from among his listeners: “ Wot change?” —Kansas City Stor. Comfort Without Extravasance, Hotel Woodstock, New Yor | (em Ma | OM ag CODY ML Could He Do It? : |e CIGARETTES At an Eastern military academy the night guard heard a noise. “Halt! Who gocs there?” he called, in accord- ance with army regulations. It was another student bent on midnight frolic, . : 5 and he answered “ Moses". This frivo- What Did He Mean? His Domestic Economy lous and utter disregard of military rule A gentleman, while at a club in Wash- Somebody said to Jamie MacJames one brought back the command, the guard ington a short while ago, became engaged day: “I trust you don’t spend all your probably suspecting the other's identity, in a desultory conversation with a weges.” “That I don't,” Jamie replied dvance, Moses, and give the Ten prominent financier and Representative “T only spend two-thirds. Two-thirds is Commandments."—Argonaut, from the South. The great man is of all” “And the other third—you bank a most economical habit, and it is diffi- that, I suppose?” “No, I do better than One On the Boss cult for him to talk for any great length that with it, I give it to the wife saad of time without touching upon the sub- to run the house.” Boss: Are you the boss in this office? ject of economy. Sure enough, he —London Evening Standard. CLerK (seared): N— ho, sir. suddenly invited attention to the suit of Boss: Well, then, don’t act like a | clothes she: was’ wearing. drivelling idiot—London Opinion. “T have never believed,” said he, opening his coat the better to display the details of the suit, “in paying fancy prices for cut-to-measure garments. Now, here is a suit for which I paid cight dollars and ninety-eight cents. Ap- pearances are very deceptive. If I told you I purchased it for thirty-five dollars, BOTTLEDin BOND you'd undoubtedly believe that to be the ° truth.” PD SracIVELY. tmooth and velvety—a whiskey His friend viewed the ault critically ee eel ee is ieee rym for a moment as he replied: “I would for 118 years. if you told me over the telephone.” Leading wholesalers sell Large Hotels, Clubs and Cafes, too Harper's’ Magazine: THE LARGE DISTILLING COMPANY PITTSBURGH, PA. Bilge Oranges with a dash of Abbot's Bitters are apnetis Ing.and healthful, Sample of bitters by malt, 5 ets. In W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md, A Technical Term “You do not speak to him?” “No,” replied the scholarly girl “When T passed him I gave him the geological survey.” “The geological survey!” “Yes. What is commonly known as the stony stare."—Washington Star. The Edwards Mig. Co.,336-386 Eggleston Av., Cincinn Holds Your Sock Smoothas Your Skin Why? Maw at Desk: Why do you claim P P if Fx ro Men who wear the better things for | a trombone player is less of a bore than «| | ( ANAMa-Facific Exposition the satisfaction they afford, buy the a pianist? SAN FRANCISCO 1915 silk Boston Garter at 50 cents. 4 Max 1x Caarr: He is, because he To Lease—Several high-class completely {ur- doesn’t get the chance. He doesn’t find nished residences with view of Exposition. Apply a trombone in every home he visits. —New York Globe. GEORGE FROST CO., MAKERS, - - BOSTON.