Life, 1914-07-02 · page 36 of 44
Life — July 2, 1914 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains advertisements and satirical content typical of Life magazine's format. **"Goethals" Poem** (by Carolyn Wells): A humorous complaint about mispronunciation of the name "Goethals"—likely referring to **George Washington Goethals**, the prominent Army engineer overseeing the Panama Canal construction. The satire mocks how various people—from drunk men to citizens to slow-witted individuals—mispronounce his name, expressing exaggerated outrage at each instance. It's light social satire about a contemporary public figure's name. **"Leaders of Socialism"**: A brief editorial snippet from *Railway Age Gazette* sarcastically arguing that actual socialist leaders (naming **Eugene V. Debs, Morris Hillquit, and Upton Sinclair**—real figures in the American socialist movement) are less responsible for socialism's spread than corrupt businessmen and politicians too incompetent to do their jobs properly. The satire suggests incompetent capitalism inadvertently promotes socialism. The remainder consists of product advertisements (Havoline Oil, Blue-jay corn remedy) and an unrelated anecdote about opera singer Mme. Nordica's death following vaccination.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
It Makes a Difference * There’s a Havoline Station Wherever You Go! ERE’s a Motor Oil that is sold from Coast to Coast and from the Gulf to the Great Lakes. Motorists are as- sured of the same high-quality lubricating oil regardless of where or when it is purchased, because: It is made only from one uniform base crude oil of tested quality. It is manufactured by our pecial process,’’ which leaves the individual molecules of the oil intact, thereby con- serving its vitality. It is entirely devoid of floating carbon and impurities and burns up so cleanly that it leaves minimum carbon deposits. Hence it forms a live, lubricating “cushion’’ of equal thickness between the moving metals of the motor, vastly decreasing the frictional loss and in- creasing its efficiency. Bay the O11 fn the Blue Can, Tell Us Your Make and 2 Pive-Gal. Cans to the Case We'll Tell You Your Grade. Sold Wherever Motors Tarn Aak your garageman or write us direct for testlmon: fals of /aveline usors who own your make of car Write for the “Lubrican,’ our booklet on Lubrication INDIAN REFINING CO. Dept. “I” NEW YORK HHAVOLINE ou Death of Madam Nordi Vaccination “Just before we reached Australia,” Mr. Strakosch said, “there had been a smallpox scare, and as we arrived in Sydney the authorities compelled all to be vaccinated. Mme. Nordica never was quite well after that vaccination. In fact, her condition was so poor that in Melbourne she employed a nurse to be with her all the time, and that nurse was with her during the trying times later on Thursday Island.” —New York Herald, May 11, 1914. after ‘UT FE” Goethals S stupid and as‘ blind as beetles I hold the men who call it Goethals, And yet it pricks me worse than nettles To hear a man pronounce it Goethals. And, oh, it probed my very vitals When once I heard some one say Goethals. I lost all appetite for victuals The day I heard a man say Goethals. And he was in his cups (or bottles) Who loudly swore it should be Goethals, While one proud citizen of Natal’s Said he opined it should be Goethals. One of those old slow-thinking turtles Said he was sure it should be Goethals. And now to sum up all the totals I'll mention one who calls it Goethals. But he deserves a chamber lethal Who boldly dares to call it Goethals. Carolyn Wells. Leaders of Socialism OBODY has ever been heard to deny that our leading men lead, but the direction that their leadership takes seems to become more and more difficult to agree upon. The Railway Age Gazette thinks as follows: It is a toss-up whether the dema- gogs or the highbinders of finance are doing the more to bring all the details of business under the regula- tion of public officials. Eugene V. Debs, Morris Hillquit and Upton Sinclair think that they are the real leaders of the socialistic movement in this country. They take them- selves too seriously, The real lead- ers of socialism in this country are such men as . . . are too crooked, cowardly, indolent or incapable to perform the duties of their positions. Paring acorn brings only brief relief. And there is danger in it. The way to end corns is with Blue-jay. It stops the pain instantly. Then it loosens the corn, and in 48 hours the entire corn comes out. Blue-jay is applied in a moment. From that time on you will not feel the corn. Leave it on for two days, until it gently undermines the corn. Then lift the corn out. There will be no pain or soreness. Blue-jay has ended sixty million corns. Nearly half the corns in the country now are ended in this way. There is nothing else like it. And no man who knows will even suggest any other way for dealing with corns. Blue-jay For Corns 15 and 25 cents —at Druggists Bauer & Black, Chicago and New York Makers of Physicians’ Supplies It A men heea macl to ¢ Tl tion: tom shop friet freq wan vast cust glom direc to a for | dire pers ceive happ has | to m cause No 1 enou a de to w him Th ment come they reme salar Bay bring y “Wow ta Ge RANDOLP!