Life, 1914-07-02 · page 17 of 44
Life — July 2, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks American journalists and literary figures covering the Mexican Revolution (likely Carranza's forces, circa 1910s). The cartoon depicts a "Samurai" narrator named Hashimura Togo meeting famous writers—Jack London, Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Dick (likely John Reed, the radical journalist), and Robert W. Chambers—who are gleefully awaiting execution by firing squad. The satire targets war correspondents' self-aggrandizement: they arrange their own arrest to create "international issues" worth money ("25¢ per word"). The absurdist humor mocks their vanity (concern about being unshaved before execution), their cavalier attitude toward death, and the cynical calculation that suffering produces profitable stories. The byline credits "Wallace Irwin," suggesting this is fictional satire rather than actual reporting. The exaggerated dialect ("are," "forthly") amplifies the mockery of both the journalists' pretensions and the narrator's outsider perspective.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Hem!” I snuggest, so they shall know my immodesty. “Dick,” declare Hon. Jack London, making scarce notice of me, “ what are fresh way of saying ‘red blood’?” “*Crimson gore,” deploy Hon, Dick while typing onwards. Pretty soonly all stop writetyping and look at me with exclusive eyes. “Well?” corrode Hon. Chambers. “ Quite well, thanks,” I arbitrate. “I are correspondent sent here to help Mexico fight.” “You are just in time, Brother!” congratulate Hon. Ella Wheeler Wil- cox. “We are awaiting tomorrow with interest. General Carranza has promised to shoot us at sunrise.” “It were Dick who arranged this for us,” explan Hon. Jack Reed with happy smiling. “If he were not along we would not even have been arrested. Then how could we get any news. In war correspondence it are well to travel with gentlemen who knows the ropes. Being college chum of all em- bassies, governments, revolutions and other importances it were deliciously easy for Hon. Dick to obtain our miserable and injust arrest so we can suffer in prison and thusly become an International Issue. International Is- sues are worth 25¢ per word.” “And to be shot at sunrise are more luck than we could deserve!” say Hon. Robt W. Chambers extaticorally. “Think of the picture it will make. If Gibson was only with us.” “But I have no experience in being shot,” I narrate. “If we are thusly exploded what will wife & children say?” “Wife & children admire our por- traits more than others,” negotiate Hon. Jno Reed socialistically. So we go bed early for feel deli- ciously rested so we make nice appear- ance at shooting by sunup. Robt W. Mr Editor, I am Samurai, therefore fearless about death. Yet I am shame- ful to acknowledg that considerable nervous prostration sat on my knees while walking to prison yard at a. m. of early sun, “Togo, I am surprised at your in- delicacy,” corrode Hon. Robt W. “ Dick, what are fresh way of saying ‘red blood’? “Going forth to be shot and not even shaved!" Yet I> march crooked legs. When we approach wall full of bul- let holes Gen. Cazzazza come forthly and invite us to coffee & rolls after shooting. All felt congratulated ex- cept me, because I should not feel hungry. Pretty soonly we line upwards agst wall. All appear brave. Some smil- ing. I put courage into my legs and hope all bullets would arrive to me first. onwards upon my I ready?” require Hon, Caz- zazza hospitally. “All but me,” I report. “Then go!” holla Hon. Gen. And forthly from woodshed behind prison-jail strode Hon. Jas Hare of Collier Weekly with moving picture machine. All was nicely shot, I sippose, but if I look too white for Japanese please forgive because I was enjoying great seasickness in the seat of my soul. Hoping you are the same Yours truly Hasuimura Toco. (Per Wallace Irwin.)