Life, 1914-06-25 · page 8 of 45
Life — June 25, 1914 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct elements: **Left side:** A photograph labeled "THE BAND" showing a large outdoor gathering with an American flag, appearing to document a public event or celebration. **Main article:** "The Crime of Illness" discusses proposed legislation to punish sick people with imprisonment. The satirical argument critiques this harsh approach, noting that while hospitals employ trained nurses to help patients, the proposed law would impose "graded punishments" for ordinary ailments and severe penalties for malingering. **Right side:** A cartoon illustration (captioned "HE AROSE WITH AN AIR OF IMPATIENCE") and a section titled "Take Your Choice" humorously listing various nicknames Americans give their automobiles—"The Mortgage," "The Fake," "Some Freak," etc.—satirizing consumer culture and car ownership's financial burden on families.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1144 Life’s Fresh Alir Fund Inclusive of 1913, Lirs's Fas Aix Fux has been in operation twenty-ser In that time it has expended $145, has given a fortnight in the country to 35.754 poor city children, The Fund is supported entirely by be- quests and voluntary contributions, which are acknowledged in this column. Prev ly acknowledged . . 667.92 Ho Day Schouler. oebeeeae 6.00 HOC. Pell . . “. 25.00 GEWites sete 100 “In Memoriam M PLE i600 Anonymous. Lasoesss. 1.00 CE. Page ¢: : 6.00 In memory of Little “Char 10.00 George Lander, Jr : Lt as.00 Vandergrift..... . . 25.00 “In memory of mother”.......... 6.00 Clarence PL it i slo na_K. Merritt. . . 32,00 $.00 t TINT 10:00 |. Downey. 2.00 Helen Richard and Marian..... 10.00 Henry H. Bass casegeseml 100 Alice F. Learned. . . 09 Miss Joy Lawrence. E G. P.M. M. Plummer. de Bruyn Schimmel. . S. MeKearin. J. D. Hampton Burt L. Hunt agen ‘aditlac, Mich. Wilbur Clare B. Damon. . L. Turnbull... Courtenay Arps . “ Hill City”. William Osgood P.M, rescott, | Benj Thomas S._Chil Stanley A. Gillesp In loving nemory Holt “In remen . C. Nickerso Arthur B. In memor: Jee Juv Ww LE. THE BAND The Crime of Illness P to the time of going to press, the latest news from the seat of the law-making industry was to the effect that hereafter it will be a crim- inal offense to be sick. The culprits are to be punished by term of imprisonment. The man who invented this idea de- serves high praise. One wonders why it was never thought of before. Many people take pleasure in being sick, It seems rather hard to have this curtailed by a jail sentence On the other hand, the kind of a tem- perament that enjoys sickness is us- ually the one that thrives on misfor- tune, for which it acquires a habit just as we acquire any habit for a narcotic. To take away their troubles would be fatal to some; it appears to be a duty indeed to cater to them. It is the one thing which increases their respect and friendship. It might seem at first glance as if sending the guilty man to an ordinary city hospital is fit punishment enough; FROM A NOVEL WITH AN AIR OF IMPATIENCE” but that is not altogether true. Hospit- als, for example, have trained nurses, some of whom are very beautiful and serve to mitigate other things not so pleasant. The proposed law, if it should be- come a law, will undoubtedly provide graded punishments, fitted to the case. All ordinary ailments would be subject to light fines. But the penalty for dy- ing offers obstacles unless our present law machinery is overhauled. Before the patient is adequately punished it would probably be too late. Take Your Choice “WHat the name of your auto- mobile?” “T don’t know.” You don’t know? What do your folks call it?” “Oh, as to that, father always says ‘The Mortgage’; brother Tom calls it ‘The Fake’; mother, ‘My Limou- sine’; sister, ‘Our Car’; grandma, ‘That Peril’; the chauffeur, ‘Some Freak’, and our neighbors, ‘The Limit’, comicbooks.com