Life, 1914-06-18 · page 35 of 44
Life — June 18, 1914 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes advertisements with editorial satire. The main poem "Feline and Canine" parodies Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade," describing household pests (flies, presumably) invading a pantry in mock-heroic language. The humor lies in treating a mundane domestic disaster with the grandiose language of military epic. The editorial section "We Rise to Remark" criticizes New York City's progressivism as hollow. It notes motor-car accident deaths quadrupled since 1910 despite proportionally smaller population growth. The satirist sarcastically argues that if New York can mismanage finances, debt, and police brutality, why should anyone expect better traffic safety? The point: progressive cities' failures undermine claims of progress itself. The advertisements (Republic Tires, Baldwin cups, Capewell nails) are period products unrelated to the satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Feline and canine Fled from the scene, appalled, Shattered and sundered, Opening the door for flies, More than six hundred. Peaches to right of them, Apples to left of them, Cookies to rear of them, Fully a hundred. Into preserves and jell, Into the cream they fell, They that had eaten well Came through the pantry door Into the dining-room— All that was left of them, Easily twelve hundred. Havoc complete they played, Oh, the wild charge they made! All the world wondered. which the President has been able to maintain by the use of patronage. eas: wi F —Philadelphia Public Ledger. The name Republic on your tires is a guarantee of Service. ANYTHING to oblige a friend, but It means that your tires will take you “there and back lend us your microscope. again.” It means that every tire has had the individual attention BALDWIN that is absolutely essential to perfect performance. Think thousands of miles ahead, figure cost per mile instead of cost per tire, and you will use Republic Quality Tires. They cost more to buy—but they cost less to use than any tire made. If you realize the true economy of buying the best, you will have Republics on your car this season. THE REPUBLIC RUBBER CO. Youngstown, O. Branches and Agencies in all the Princital Cities The Republic WM Tread Tire is designed especially for light cars. It, too, yields great TERE Hygienic, Picnic and Outing Requisite Of for the woods and fields—eamping—pic- mileage at low nicking, of perhaps just for the auto trip?, | Be cost. sure to put in a TAK-A-KUP carton of BALD- Pi WIN FINBACK DRINKING CUPS. With . the handy “fin” you're sure of a clean, hygienic 3x3, $13.50 drinking cup holding just the right’ amount. SP” 013%. 18.00 F TAK-A-KUP carton (self-dispensing), contain . 32234. 19.50 ublic Staggar ing 250 Cups, and ready to hang up, ~Z Reve Seeens cents, postpaid, or stationers can fur: nerusuic ~ reed nish them. Sample Cups Free Wen YacaD renee Pat, Sept. 15-22, United States Env. Co. Cop Dept. G, Worcester, Mase. Stone & Forsyth Co. Distributers Boston, Mass. m><> Isha We Rise to Remark 77 199 Horse REPORT published by Mitchell May, Secretary of State in New York, says that Capewell Naik A the total number of motor-car accidents in New York City has increased four- jails fold since 1910, while the growth of population has been, in proportion, very have halt again the tensile strength slight. What is the cause for this discrepancy? otany other nail. Best in the world at a fair price. We might reply that New York is so much more progressive than other American aan afford to buy “Capewell”. No ho cities, For example, we have the largest debt in the country, and this being so and to necipt a eabetitcte. our financial intelligence being thus demonstrated, why should not we be permitted to apply it to other matters besides the commonplace issuing of bonds; and not only run over more people in our streets, but burn up more in our fires and rob more in our bring you ations" restaurants, to say nothing about clubbing them with our police system? So much fow to Ce i 3 RANDOLPH & CO.. Patent Attereeya, Dept. 128, Wasblogtea, D.C, financial prescience ought to have a proper outlet somewhere. comicbooks.com