Life — June 11, 1914 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE Jusce: What is your occupation, my man? Prisoner: I am a bus-driver, my lord. Jupce; You mean you are the driver of horses attached thereto? Pais Yes, sir. Juvce: You are charged with hitting this man on the face. Did you do it? Prisoxze: Certainly not! June. What did you do, then? Prisoner: I hit him on the nasal organ attached thereto !—Tit-Bits, pur a Kelly-Springfeld Gray Tube into a tub of water and see it float. That proves that the rubber in it is real. Put a Kelly-Springfeld Gray Tube on your car and see it last. That proves that the real rubber has been made into a tube by hand. Kelly-Springfield Tire Company Corner Broadway and 57th Street New York Branch offices in New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston, St. Louis, Detroit, Cincinnati, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Cleveland, Seattle, Atlanta, Akron, O. The Hearn Tire & Rubber Co., Columbus, Ohio Bering Tire and Rubber Co., Houston, Texas Ross Rubber Co., Denver, Colo, The Olmsted Co., Inc., Syracuse, N. Y. South'n Hdwe. & Woodstock Co., Ltd., New Orleans, La. L. J. Barth, Rochester, N.Y. Seifert & Baine, Newark, N. J. Atkinson Tire & Supply Co., Jacksonville, Fla. Central Rubber & Supply Co., Indianapolis, Ind. C.D, Franke & Co., Charleston, S. C. K. & S. Auto Tire Co., Limited, Toronto, Can. Todd Rubber Co., New Haven, Conn. Rarnard & Michael, Buffalo, N. Y. URAD THE TURKISH CIGARETTE 100% PURE TURKISH TOBACCO Questions That Drive Librarians from Their Desks AS the Pope written anything since his ‘Essay on Man’?” “Does the ‘Garden of Allah’ treat of vegetables or flowers?” “Have you any late books by Du- mas?” “In what part of the Bible will I find, ‘He who steals my purse steals trash’?” “ Does the ‘ Life of Arthur Sullivan’ give an account of each of his battles in the prize-ring?” “T want a nice book for a very little girl, Could you recommend ‘The Dolls’ House’?” EADER, hast thou ever grown moderately fat? Dost thou lead the upholstered life, and looking back over the meagre past, dost thou recall the gradual change from thinness to that altitude of oleaginosity from which one may serenely survey the passing multitude, rejoicing in one’s larger vision? All the world loves a fat man. It is useless to ridicule him, purposcless to inveigh against him. He is fendered against the shafts of satire, and im- mune to laughter. To one moderately fat, who was recently thin, the change is very much like going from the rocky regions of some volcanic desert into the smiling green slopes of a pas- toral and undulating country. There is a certain point of view which the moderately fat man may enjoy, and this is all the more accen- tuated because his vista is a new one, and because he has the contrast of his present fatness with his past leanness. To be lean to-day and to be modcrately fat to-morrow is the summum bonum of human endeavor. The fact that he may go on getting fatter and fatter only adds a piquancy, a zest, to his present state of happi- ness. For there is no true happiness which does not invariably carry with it a sense of impending danger. T. L. M. NEW YORK America’s Latest and Most Refined, and New York's Centermost Hotel Only hotel occupying an entire city block. Vanderbilt and Ma: Aves., 43d and 44th Sts., adjoin- ing Grand Central Terminal 1000 rooms, g9so with bath— Rates from $2.50. per day. Suites from 2 to 15 rooms for permanent occupancy. Large and small ball, banquet and dining salons and suites specially arranged for public or private functions. Gustav Baun maen Pres. Bownaa Virginia Farms and Timber rd Improved and enimproved. $5.00 and Rich lands, bes comely climate, bare farmers. Colonial homes. Catalogue ney an for you facilitie money how mu ble to country Pubt sick ahs and add Please s