Life, 1914-06-11 · page 13 of 44
Life — June 11, 1914 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains two distinct pieces: **Top illustration ("In the Spring"):** A woman in a boat calls out to find a harp, with a sparse, desolate landscape. The caption suggests spring as a time of loneliness and isolation—likely satirizing romantic expectations versus reality. **"The Confessions of an Expert":** A lengthy personal essay where the author describes breaking a two-year resolution to stop reading and talking, having become addicted to both habits. The piece humorously confesses how reading led to constant opinion-sharing, though ultimately the author claims to have achieved freedom through thinking instead. **"The Colonel's Reputation":** Brief commentary on Colonel Roosevelt, noting British critics' perception of him as a naturalist rather than politician—with ironic undertones about his actual political prominence versus scientific credentials. The page is primarily text-based satire and social commentary typical of Life's satirical content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1061 A Study in Heredity SCARIOT AnanJas Catiline J. Wilkes Booth Mr. Hyd Hamle7’s uncle Yond CaSsius PotiPhar’s wife JezEbel Lady MaCbeth Uriah Heep Absalom Cain Lord STeyne HerOd Benedict ARnold “IN THE SPRING——" “AT LAST WE ARE ALONE! WILL YoU BE——" “OH, GEORGE! SEE IF YOU CAN FIND ME A HAIRPIN” The Confessions of an Expert WO years ago I resolved to stop reading and talking. The effect has been so remarkable and the results achieved of such a wonderful character that I feel impelled to lay my experience before the world. I had acquired the habit of talking of others. I presume a that it may have been hereditary. At any rate, I was encouraged in it at an early age by fond parents, who, with an ingenuousness almost impossible to conceive, enter- tained the idea that what I said was of importance. They even repeated these sayings to others with great joy and satisfaction. I presume that this early practice of hearing myself quoted gave me a fictitious idea of my own talking powers. It was not long before I made a business of voicing my opinions upon every subject that was mentioned. To do this, I gradually yielded to the temptation of reading. I began first upon books, and gradually descended to magazines, newspapers and advertising signs. Naturally the result was that it became a mania. It is remarkable how a habit may become fastened upon one unconsciously. In the course of years I had become firmly addicted both to reading and talking. I spent most of my time doing cither one or the other. One day I resolved to stop. I made up my mind that I would read nothing more and say nothing more. It was very hard at first. I had to cancel all my dinner and luncheon engagements, I found, however, that by gradually discontinuing my reading I decreased the amount of ma- terial on hand to talk about. After this had been going on for some time it dawned upon me that I had a mind. I thereupon gradually acquired the habit of thinking. This has taken the place of both talking and reading. To-day I ama free man. I have no friends and I am not asked out anywhere. The ladies shun me, society has passed me by, and I am happy for the first time since I was born. E A NICE ONE TO BRING s Ey MICKEY. YOU SAID THE PARROT COULD SWEAR" 1 THOUGHT The Colonel's Reputation wat a strange perversity of understanding is revealed in that discovery by Colonel Roosevelt of a river which, according to British critics, gives evidence of trying to run uphill, as good little rivers shouldn't. While we on this side are coming to believe that, as a politician, Colonel Roosevelt is a very superior naturalist, the British seem to think that, as a naturalist, he is a most ‘excellent politician. The course of true reputation never did run smooth, comicbooks.com