Life — May 14, 1914 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eae E SN Expecting Too Much Claude had been promised a motor ride with his father, and his mother had sent him upstairs to get ready. As he came down his mother asked: “ Have you washed vour face, Claude?” “Yes'm,” answered the boy. “And your hands?” queried the mother, “Yep,” said Claude. “And your neck?” persisted the mother, “Oh, see here, mother,” said the boy, in disgust, “I ain't no angel!” —Ladies’ Home Journal. Quite “Was your husband cool when you told him there was a burglar in the 2" asked Mrs, Hammer. replied Mrs. Gabb, “I should cool. Why, his teeth chat- ."—Cincinnati Enquirer. “Yes, and it stops talk,” added the Fool.—Cincinnati Enquirer, “SUMMA CUM LAUDE” Comparative Values A German peasant had just lost his faithful cow. His wife became so grieved over the loss that her heart was broken, and she, too, died. Scarcely was she buried when one of the neighbors came and offered his daughter, another his sister, and a third his niece, for a wife, whereupon the farmer remarked: “Well, I can easily sce that it is better to'lose a wife than a cow in this town. As soon as my wife is dead a choice of half a dozen wives is offered me, but when my cow dicd, they didn’t offer me a single one."—Youth's Companion. “Now, boys,” said the schoolmaster, “TI want you to bear in mind that the word ‘stan’ at the end of a word means ‘the place of.’ Thus we have Afghani- stan—the place of the Afghans; also Hindustan—the place of the Hindus. Can anyone give another example?” Nobody appeared very anxious to do so, until little Johnny Snaggs, the joy of his mother and the terror of the cats, said proudly : “Yes, sir, I can. Umbrellastan—the place for umbrellas.” —Tit-Bits. Potuished every Tharday, simuttincously fa the Uaited States, Great Britain, Canada and Meitish $5.00 a year in fe.’ ‘Additioaal postage to foreiga couatries ia the Postal Union, “tanta, &2 cents, Single cortent copies, 10 ceste Lack Munbers, after three months frowa date of putlicaion, cents. "Isives prior to 1910 oct of pat Ut be returned wntess accompanted by stamped and addresied envelope. LAK de P'the toss oF ManereQurn ef wnsolicited GontriDutions “T HAVE a Little Six Locomobile with lan- daulet body weighing 4,750 lbs, and one of your chevron casings on my right front wheel ran over 7,300 miles and was never flat during the entire time. It wore down layer after layer until the tube, the one originally put in, was show- ing through when same was taken off to save the tube.’”’ We hear many such reports! TYRE EN ENGLEBERT J.17a or sata be alt merrdenirs fp Great Retain end ap be lenin, trom, bootvtler tal the, orice! cities of the workd.” ‘The foreign trade supplied trom Live's London Ofice, Rolls House, Dreams Loadoa, EC. The text and illustrations 14 Southampton Rove, London Prompt notification shoutd be sent by subseribers of any change of address. J.108 are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain agp to Lire, MADE IN BELGIUM