Life — May 14, 1914 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

884 HE activities of the Spugs, apart from a little desultory business connected with birthdays, are confined to the Christmas season. But the Spums have work to do all the year round. Who are the Spums? Briefly, the Society for the Pre- vention of Useless Mail. To be sure, there is no such society as yet, but that’s no sign there oughtn’t to be. Promotion is beyond doubt breath in the nostrils of a number of things, but why the dismal futilities of the game? With nine-tenths of every man’s mail made up of advertising mitter, which he either never looks at or looks at only to be embittered against the sender of it, who's ahead? Let no last straw be laid in the way of the drop of ink that makes millions think. By all means further its putting over. But the tons and tons of ink that are sheer waste, and the paper that is worse than waste, since it means the spoiling of our precious forests, and the nerves which are the most valuable and the least conserved of our national resources—all these cry out for the Spums to get busy. Big business, with its pitiless follow-up man, for once offends against itself. There’s an old adage about saving at the spigot and wasting at the bung, and big business, for all its prodigious thrift, has its bungs in full flow. The Spums would stop at least one of them, “TRENE’S DEATH ON MADONNAS” What Do You Think? We are Constantly in Receipt of Important Letters Which are Too Long for Our Limited Space. Brevity is Desirable. Vacant? Eoitor oF Lire: This is a joke, not an advertisement. For, Rent.—Beautiful palace in The Hague, all modern conveniences. Rea- sonable rent. Inquire Carnegie Peace Conference, Mexico. CATHARINE PATTERSON, Reptanps, Cat. April 23, 1914. From Delaware Eoitor or Lire: A recent contributor to Lirz has sug- gested that Delaware be converted into a National Park. This is highly compli- mentary to the State. Delaware is very grateful to Lire for this suggestion and she hopes that Congress will act in accord with this idea which originated within the State by those who love her. I am not a native of the little State of Del- aware, but I had the distinct pleasure of spending my boyhood days and the most of my life in her borders. I know some- thing of the ideals of those who hail from there. There are two kinds of people in Delaware, those who were born there and those who wish they had been. No doubt jealousy led to such a happy con- tribution as the one mentioned above. Delawareans have always said that their State is the “Garden Spot of the World.” The Deity excelled himself when he made the little State on the Atlantic coast between New Jersey and Mary- land. “The best goods are always wrapped in the smallest packages” is just as applicable in this case as any other. Any one who has been to this beautiful State will surely agree that Delaware is a choice spot for a National Park. We are sure that Congress would never turn the Park over to Baltimore, Washington, Philadelphia, and surely not to New York city for commercial purposes as a place for water supply. Delawareans know that their State is the dearest (in value) and the most beautiful State of the Union or they never would have called it “The Diamond State.” * R. J. Bennetr. Keura Parx, N. Y., April 20, 1914. Yet Another Opinion Dear Lire: The communication of your corres- pondent concerning newspapers is very interesting The selections are good—the Kansas City Star the best in my opin- ion. If I were to make a list of three, it would be the New York Times, the Chi- cago Tribune, and the Kansas City Star, in the order named. The Times and Tribune are discursive, a bit tiresome at times, frequently mistaken in matters of editorial policy ; but for impartial presen- tation of the best of the world’s hap- penings on its news pages, there are no two papers in the country better. Yours truly, CG W. Haw. Oana, Nes. April 2, 1914. Accumulating Ha! Has! To Editor Lire Paper (who take 10 cents worth perfectly good money from unsuspicious population for Humory Number, laughing sleeve up while doing so.) Dear Sir: Me and Cousin Hogi give up making joke cach to one another all during Lent- time, to save all giggly laughs for your Humory Number, We have search through same, from middle to both ends, with telescope, microscope, fluroscope, and stethoscope, and we find no humor, except lots which are not there. I now make brave to ask what shall we do with all merry Ha! Has! we have been saving all them weeks compounding int. like Hon. Savings Bank, as our system is still full of them. Hoping you are the same (no doubt you are) Yours truly, Masninura Soro, per James M. Blake. Bautimorr, Mp., April 22, 1914. comichooks.