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Life, 1914-04-30 · page 40 of 44

Life — April 30, 1914 — page 40: what you’re looking at

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Life — April 30, 1914 — page 40: Life, 1914-04-30

What you’re looking at

This page contains **two advertisements** (Ideal Power Lawn Mower at $375; Williams' Shaving Stick) and a **humorous satirical poem** titled "A Lay of Massachusetts Bay." The poem satirizes Puritan hypocrisy in early Massachusetts. It describes how colonists eliminated Native Americans ("removed by providential fevers"), suppressed religious dissidents (Williamses, Hutchinsons, Quakers—"imprisoned, whipped at cart-tail, hanged or banished"), and established order. The satire peaks in a confrontation between Parson Bondish (representing sanctimonious Puritan clergy) and "Defiance Cock" (an Indian trader). The Parson performs exaggerated self-abasement—calling himself a "worm" unworthy of hanging—but when Cock agrees and offers to prove it "before a jury," the Parson becomes enraged and attacks him. The joke: the Parson's performative humility is fraudulent; his actual pride and violence betray the hypocrisy underlying Puritan moral superiority. This mocks religious sanctimony masking brutality toward Indigenous peoples and dissenters.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Beautiful Lawn when you keep it in perfect condiion with the Ideal Power Lawn Mower. Mr. experimenting and the result of his experiments is the Ideal Power Lawn Mower. When Mr. Olds began investigating this matter he found that the power lawn mowers on the market were too heavy for soft, wet sod and hillside work. He found that the horse-drawn mower was not satisfactory, as the horse's hoofs would cut into the wet sod and spoil the lawn, and that the horse would eat up, and trample down the shrubbery. ‘The Ideal Power Lawn Mower will do more and better work than the horse-drawn mower. It will turn corners and work in places where the horse eannot be used. work up close around shrubbery, flower beds and walks. It is a lawn roller a lawn mower. It leaves the lawn'in perfect condition and as smooth as velvet. SS-inch cat, will travel from two to three miles an hoor, and it is easy to operate, as all the controls are within easy reach of the operator. . . The price of this mower, all complete, ready for shipment, is only $375.00, Write today for complete information. ‘The Ideal Power Lawn Mower Co., 408 Kalamazoo St., Lansing, Michigan, U.S.A. Williams H6ldér Top Shaving Stick Greater Convenience—Greater Satisfaction Your fingers do not touch the soap. You grasp it by the metal cap in which the stick is fvaly fastened, rub it gently over the face, which has previously been moistened, and then return the Shaving Stick to its nickel container. The Holder-Top permits you to use the stick down to the last available bit with per- fect ease and convenience. THREE OTHER FORMS OF THE SAME GOOD QUALITY Williams’ Shaving Stick Hines’ Cover Williams’ Shaving Powder Hines¢-Cover Williams’ Shaving Cream (in tubes) A sample of any one of these four shaving prep- erations will be sent postpaid for 4c in stamps. THE J. B, WILLIAMS COMPANY Dept. A, Glastonbury, Conn. WHLTANS" ‘Ask your desler for then. Songs of the States A Lay of Massachusetts Bay ale world went well; the heavens smiled, complacent, On Massachusetts Bay and parts adjacent; ‘The Savages, arrayed in skins of beavers, Had been removed by providential fevers; The fields were flourishing, and e’en the bearish Allowed that trade and fisheries were fairish; The Williamses, the Hutchinsons, the Quakers And other contumacious trouble-makers, Convinced by potent arguments, had vanished (Imprisoned, whipped at cart-tail, hanged or banished), When Parson Bondish, strong in exhortation, Arose to edify the congregation, Beginning—(not in total self-¢ffacement)— With some few words of personal abasement. “Dear Brothers,” quoth the Preacher, “in all meckness I come, a child of wrath and sin and weakness” “Amen! that's tru intoned a rash invader, Defiance Cock, the surly Indian trader, “Yea, here I stand,” resumed the scowling Preacher, “A Thing of Naught, a miserable creature——" ye,” growled the Trader, “ye were born and bred Tis true as Gospel—even if ye said so.” “A Worm am I!” the Parson thundered, banging His oaken desk,—“ A Wretch too bad for hanging!” “Correct,” cried Cock, despite impending fury, “As I will gladly prove before a jury.” Good Bondish clenched both fists; a stout crusader, He braved Defiance Cock, the Indian trader. “When I,” he blared, “ self-humbled, would have cleared me Of Pride of Flesh, thou venturest to beard me? “T own my faults, I hope to rise above them, But no one else shall dare to tell me of them!” Whereat, the Parson rapidly descended— And then and there the controversy ended, Stern Bondish preaching hours, unrelenting, At Cock within the pillory, repenting. And this is why I dare not tell my story— For Boston might not think it laudatory; 2 And why I'll ever strive to be complacent Toward Massachusetts Bay and parts adjacent. Arthur Guiterman,